Do you think racoons are offended by Avril Lavigne?!


Question:

Do you think racoons are offended by Avril Lavigne?

She was digging through my garbage the other night and I popped her with my air rifle. I feel kinda bad about as I didn't know it was her. I hope she's okay. She has to do something about this makeup she wears. Does anyone out there think this is attractive?


Answers:

It's funny that you mentioned that because I had a similar experience. Last night a few raccoons meandered through my yard perusing for grub when I noticed one of them walking upright and had long blonde hair. I grabbed my air rifle (with a scope) and took aim when I recognized her as Avril Lavigne. I did not take any 'pop' shots at her or any of her raccoon friends.

Do I think the raccoons are offended by her? No. Confused? Possibly.

I have two theories about this occurence.

The first theory is that Avril Lavigne was raised by raccoons and visits with her 'other' family from time to time. This would explain a tendency for her to make herself up to look like one of them. Just to fit in with her peeps like all young girls do.

The second is that she's fallen under the spell of the Goth movement which is basically a plot by ugly women to get good looking women make themselves look ugly. Obviously she's not setting any trends. If she was then many people would routinely get popped by air rifles in the wee hours of the night. So she may simply be just following a trend instead.

Whatever the reason may be it's just a terrible shame as it is supected that there is an incredibly attractive woman underneath all that shoe polish around the eyes.


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