---

Answers: When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."

When Jack wants to pray, he simply tells Chloe to patch him through to god.

If it looks like beef, smells like beef and tastes like beef but Jack Bauer says its Chicken, it fcuking Chicken!

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead, it just makes him angry! These are off of a couple of different seasons, but I love them:

Season 2 : He kills the FBI witness in custody, and say "get me a hacksaw" so he can cut off his head.

Season 6: He wraps the chain around Fayed's neck, pulls it and kills him, and says "Say hello to your brother"

And, the jokes:
Jack Bauer doesn't wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer once lost his keys, he interrogated himself until he gave up the information. someone asked him once what his record was for number of cactuses sat on in a minute

he answered "previously on 24" Jack Bauer found out he was being played by Kiefer Sutherland. Jack Bauer shot Kiefer Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man!!

As Jack Bauer rounded a corner he was ambushed and shot at. Jack Bauer pulled the bullets out of his chest and used them to reload!!

---