How's my story line dude?? Pls read...?!
Question: Title: Hound dog
Synopsis:
"Illegal gladiator-style-fight, the competition between life and death, the mafia plays which mercy words don’t even exist. The bets which using people who slaved themselves as a dog. Okahira Kenji/Kenji, a high school student, was part of the racking pride, selling his soul out for some money to bare his mom medical attention. Forcing himself to kill, to wild himself up. Throwing the feelings of humanity and lowing his dignity by wearing a collar that marks himself as a true ‘Hound Dog’. But days full of sinful and bloods finally appeared to be doubted with when his old pal Kubonouchi Eisuke/Eisuke came back from America."
So here is my manga story. Im already finished in episodes 3.
I wanna ask u guys opinion about this.... Its full of violence.
Thx for ur comments ^^
This is my drawing looks like.
http://rajangcurser.deviantart.com/art/C...
Answers: Title: Hound dog
Synopsis:
"Illegal gladiator-style-fight, the competition between life and death, the mafia plays which mercy words don’t even exist. The bets which using people who slaved themselves as a dog. Okahira Kenji/Kenji, a high school student, was part of the racking pride, selling his soul out for some money to bare his mom medical attention. Forcing himself to kill, to wild himself up. Throwing the feelings of humanity and lowing his dignity by wearing a collar that marks himself as a true ‘Hound Dog’. But days full of sinful and bloods finally appeared to be doubted with when his old pal Kubonouchi Eisuke/Eisuke came back from America."
So here is my manga story. Im already finished in episodes 3.
I wanna ask u guys opinion about this.... Its full of violence.
Thx for ur comments ^^
This is my drawing looks like.
http://rajangcurser.deviantart.com/art/C...
wow, so touching, coz of mother put life on the line...it seem a little like movie of jetli to me (i forget the episode where he like a dog killin for his lord until he got resolve) ...
nice one and keep it up, btw nice drawing there, r u sure u draw it urself or juz ur handphone do it XD
(^-*)
Ah maybe its from poor sentence structure but that doesnt sound appealing to me at all. IDK im not trying to bash or anything just that one that Synopsis needs some clearing up and that story doesnt sound very thought out or original it reminds me of the jet lee flim unleashed just a bit different. Besides that it doesnt sound to intruging i dont think there is much to be done with the story. It doesnt get me hyped or anything The Drawing is nice thou.
I think your artwork shows promise, but if all your writing is like the sample above then I'm certainly not interested in seeing any more of it. Sounds like you have a hackneyed plot idea, which you intend to extend to great length. I'm also not tempted by the "it's full of violence" disclosure. Basically, your plot sounds like something taken from an early Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, and I am not a fan of such material.
Others might think your premise is wonderful.
Q & A really isn't a good venue to ask for literary feedback(although if you are only looking for adulation, the artwork can most likely draw that reaction), and if I remember correctly, posting unpublished and unfinished fiction and/or artwork links in a question and asking for comments is discouraged by Yahoo on this venue, for one reason or another. Recently, someone grew tired of Yahoo's rules and guidelines for this venue, as well as free-floating anti-anime hostility and started a Yahoo group that is devoted to anime and mangas (I haven't joined). Last I heard, the group was experiencing steady growth; chances are the members there would be interested in your artwork and you plans to create a manga-styled series. I'm sure their comments would be much kinder than mine, and some of them would possibly be willing to give you on-going feedback on your project. I'm including a link below, if you want to join that group. You will need to mention an anime or manga or two, in your application to join the group (all you'll have to do is type a single sentence to show that you aren't anti-anime).
i like the details you give