Rate my anime story (1 part of Sakura Neko)?!


Question: Rate my anime story (1 part of Sakura Neko)!?
This is the first part(just writing this now just 2 let u guys kno)
oooookkk ^_^ just glad you guys really liked it ^///^

Sakura Neko
chapter 1
part 1

"YAWN"moaned Naomi as she sleepishly stepped down the stairs!.
"G'morning Aunt Kimiko!.!.!."
"MOOORNING SUNSHINE ^_^!"she said with a large grin!.
Mumble Mumble ><
"I remeber when you first came here, you were jumpy and energetic,ha ha!."
"Not now Aunt Kimiko im exhausted ><"Naomi said as she pushed her head against the kitchen table!.
"Here at least eat somthin',you ARE going to the beach today right!?"She said handing Naomi her breakfast!.
Naomi picked up a piece of toast and started muching on the tip!."OH NO!I FORGOT!"she quickly picked up the toast and dashed up stairs!.
-_- sure,now she is all energetic!.!.!.
Oh man i gotta hurry!.thought Naomi
She put on her swim suit and grabbed a towel and walked back down stairs!."Ok im leaving,Yumi should be waiting!"
"Have fun!"

Dont worry i will!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
hmmm!.!.!. there's not a lot here!.!.!.!. that took me about 10 seconds to read, but at least the last line intrigued me enough to want to read a bit further!.!.!. can you give us a link to more!? if this is just a rough storyline for a manga, it sounds pretty good!. If you're just making it into a book!.!.!.
"sleepishly"!? try "sleepily"
3rd line!.!.!. define "she"
needs a bit of addressing punctuation and capitalization, and smileys aren't exactly always used in literature!. XD
Sorry, I'm very critical XDWww@Enter-QA@Com

its not bad
but seemed kinda like no plotline
but its ok

you should show more charas and a brief intro!?
i like using the format and styles from shoujo mangas ^^
maybe you should plan out your charas and their backgrounds and the plotline first

but thats just my opinionWww@Enter-QA@Com

There's not really enough here to judge!. How much is that 300 words!? And it seems like it's all filler dialog!.

Give me some plot, some tension, something to anticipate, ANYTHING and then I can decide if I like it or not!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

it good nothing to judge!.It is great and well I will buy it!.But could you give us a backround about Naomi and Aunt Kimiko!.Thanks for sharing your storyWww@Enter-QA@Com

10 i would definetely buy itWww@Enter-QA@Com

Interesting title!. The translation would be Cherry Blossom Cat!? I keep in mind to see how it turns outWww@Enter-QA@Com

9!.5
its goodWww@Enter-QA@Com



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