HELP please!! 10 Points for gud answer!?!
Question: HELP please!! 10 Points for gud answer!!?
i just made this fan fic of ouran high school host club i would like to hear your thought on it please rate it too and any tips on how to make it better would be nice too
http://www!.quizilla!.com/stories/8003812/!.!.!.
Thank you,
Bye,
RinWww@Enter-QA@Com
http://www!.quizilla!.com/stories/8003812/!.!.!.
Thank you,
Bye,
RinWww@Enter-QA@Com
Answers:
Hey, Rin!. Sorry to say, but your story is only ok, but u can make it better! ok, well the way u wrote it, it makes it sound like u want the reader to be Miya which makes it confusing so i suggest editing it and changing the "you" to "Miya" so its less confusing!.
another thing is that your verbs are used in the wrong tense a lot, for example you put say when it should be said!.
also, when people were talking you would put two people talking in the same paragraph!. when writing, for example, you should put Haruhi's quote, then when Kyouya starts talking start a new paragraph!. this will help organize the chapters and make it easier on the reader!.
you should also work on putting the quotes in the right places and capitalization and other things like that!. just the basic punctuation!
also, the way its written makes it sound "this then that then this" when writing you want to make it seem like the story flows seamlessly!. so instead of putting Place-: blah blah blah you should put something like "Meanwhile the host club room was managing its customers" or something like that!.
another thing you should never do is, Tamaki: yes you do my sweet princess , you should never simply state it like that you should write something like "Yes, you do my sweet princess," Tamaki stated while brushing his fingers through her hair!.
and one of the most important thing every writer should do is never stop adding details!!! ^^
but i love ur idea for a story, most people would just make a transfer student that is a girl wearing a boy's uniform like Haruhi!. I'm sooo happy you're not doing that!!! you added your own twist to the manga and its an original idea!!! and overall the first chapter is good because it perfectly started the beginning of drama!!! plus u added a cliffhanger at the end which is what good fanfic writers do! =D btw i just made a Quizilla account just now so that i could rate your story and rate future chapters! can't wait for more! ^^ btw my account SN for Quzilla is 666Yukiko666
I'm very sorry that I am so opinionated! *bows* but i love giving writers tips!. I hope you don't take offense to this and i hope i help! =D have fun writing! =DWww@Enter-QA@Com
another thing is that your verbs are used in the wrong tense a lot, for example you put say when it should be said!.
also, when people were talking you would put two people talking in the same paragraph!. when writing, for example, you should put Haruhi's quote, then when Kyouya starts talking start a new paragraph!. this will help organize the chapters and make it easier on the reader!.
you should also work on putting the quotes in the right places and capitalization and other things like that!. just the basic punctuation!
also, the way its written makes it sound "this then that then this" when writing you want to make it seem like the story flows seamlessly!. so instead of putting Place-: blah blah blah you should put something like "Meanwhile the host club room was managing its customers" or something like that!.
another thing you should never do is, Tamaki: yes you do my sweet princess , you should never simply state it like that you should write something like "Yes, you do my sweet princess," Tamaki stated while brushing his fingers through her hair!.
and one of the most important thing every writer should do is never stop adding details!!! ^^
but i love ur idea for a story, most people would just make a transfer student that is a girl wearing a boy's uniform like Haruhi!. I'm sooo happy you're not doing that!!! you added your own twist to the manga and its an original idea!!! and overall the first chapter is good because it perfectly started the beginning of drama!!! plus u added a cliffhanger at the end which is what good fanfic writers do! =D btw i just made a Quizilla account just now so that i could rate your story and rate future chapters! can't wait for more! ^^ btw my account SN for Quzilla is 666Yukiko666
I'm very sorry that I am so opinionated! *bows* but i love giving writers tips!. I hope you don't take offense to this and i hope i help! =D have fun writing! =DWww@Enter-QA@Com
>:(
that's obnoxious!.Www@Enter-QA@Com
that's obnoxious!.Www@Enter-QA@Com