Plz help me?!

Plz help me?

my name is seamus,my freinds are sean and danielle and jen. our mentor is simon i watch my parents get murdedby a demon and now i kill others with my freinds. my mentor was killed by the same demon and now its after me and my friends. now we have to find a way to stop it.would this make a good story

2 months ago
first chapter .
it was a calm breezy nighton hamilton st.all of the ppeoel were sleeping. The moon light gentaly lite the warm homes.a swish of black sped past the houses. the silcnce was broken by a loud shatering. the sound had come from 602. The window was shated all over the grass. Up staris in the master bedbed room a dark figer stood at the foot of the bed. it was dark and bare no physical apperances. moer like a shadow.it was broud like a man and had long thick hair put into a messy ponytail.The shadow pulled a long knife from under its shirt. it raised it above the sleepin peopel. a curious child stood at the doorway. .the shadow lowerd the knife . The innocent child watched ashis parents were vicouly muredrd. His small yelow eyes widen and filled with moist tears.blood coverd the bed sheets. THe sound of cop sigerns filled the air. the figuer slipped out of the window into the night. the boy ran to his room and hide under his bed. tears rolled down his eyes.

yes - Anything could be a good story, it all depends on writing style whether is gets popular.

Good luck!