Planning to kill myself?!
Question: Every morning I wake up thinking about the barrel of a gun in my mouth. I don't know exactly when I'm gonna do it, but it will be soon. It gets extremely tiring knowing you're the genetic defect and black sheep of the family, and once you lose your status of not being the black sheep, you can never get it back. I guess all I'm waiting for is enough money for the gun, and inspiration to perfectly express my thoughts in a note or song recording. I've tried explaining to my family, and to god (who seems to love burning people in hell) what it is that makes me feel alone and unable to truly touch anyone else, but it all comes out like an abstract painting. My brains will soon be an abstract painting on the wall. All alone is all we all are.
Answers: Every morning I wake up thinking about the barrel of a gun in my mouth. I don't know exactly when I'm gonna do it, but it will be soon. It gets extremely tiring knowing you're the genetic defect and black sheep of the family, and once you lose your status of not being the black sheep, you can never get it back. I guess all I'm waiting for is enough money for the gun, and inspiration to perfectly express my thoughts in a note or song recording. I've tried explaining to my family, and to god (who seems to love burning people in hell) what it is that makes me feel alone and unable to truly touch anyone else, but it all comes out like an abstract painting. My brains will soon be an abstract painting on the wall. All alone is all we all are.
Hey the problem is not outside some where it's within you... first you start loving yourself dude..... try to engage yourself in some kind of activity and do well in that... for say... dance... sports fo any game... i'm sure you will catch up with some one..... first you should impress yourself.... then it is easy to impress others... :-)
dont do it...please..for the sake of the repenting suicidal souls in hell
If you were dying, you would want to live
This is my story.
Once i was in the Philippines in vacation i got a mild stroke.
And everything was dark all and the words comes from my heart and said god who shall look after my children.
With all the panic going on around i was hearing only one person.
Bryan so sorry you feel this way. Life has offered me ups and downs and i just have to ignore the lonely feelings. I do not live alone but when peoples minds can't connect the feeling I get is that I am alone. People are consumed with their own interests and leave me in a dark place. I just refuse to throw in the towel. I will fullfill what ever the wish of the lord has for me. I know going to hell sounds inexcuseable and you would wonder what kind of god we have. There has to be some type of law to make us behave. I wish you well and I know this won't help much but do not take your life grasp it and make it work for you. I think your letter is a good way to release your feelings and hopefully you will not have to act on it. Good Wishes
Homie.
If you feel that's what you really need to do.
Then more power to you.
but, I can tell you right now.
you need to think long and hard about what you're doing.
&; who you're hurting.
You're life might seem like it sucks.
but dood. they have meds for that.
Think about how much life is going to suck for all the people around you that love you,
and don't sit there and be all 'no one loves me'
bc, I can't guarentee there is at least 1 person on this hell hole we call earth, that does love you with every ounce of their being.
Just picture that person smiling right now.
Please.
Beautiful huh?
Now picture their face when they hear the fatal news that you blew your own teeth threw the back of your head.
Are they still smiling?
N o.
&; they won't be for a very long time.
Please just contemplate that.
&; picture that person's face full of regret, blaming themself for you're selfishness.
Picture them mourning your grave.
Picture them going on in this world without you.
Think about it.
I mean, really think about it.
Please.
<3
dont do it, c'mon take the day off of work, watch a movie, just chill go to work the next day, if your still trying to kill yourself try talking to someone like Dr. Melfi
GOD BLESS YOU MY SON....BUT DO NOT ATTENT TO YOUR LIFE...TRY TO TALK TO SOME ONE YOU LOVE OR IS RELIABLE FOR YOU AND EXPLAIN HE OR HER (PRIEST;STUDENT CUNSELLOR;TEACHER;NEIGBORD;
CLOSE FRIEND) WHAT YOUR PROBLEM OR THE CAUSE THAT MOVE YOU TO SUICIDE).PROBABLY WHAT YOU NEED AND PUT YOU TO RELAX IS TO FIND SOMEBODY THAT IS A GOOD LISTENER AND COUNCEL YOU THE BEST CAN DO.HAVING IN MIND THAT YOU ARE A CREATURE OF GOD AND DESRVE ALL THE HAPPINESS OF THE WORLD.IAM PRAYING FOR YOU MY FRIEND AND SON.
How about you try this first....if you can work....work real hard until you save enough money to leave the people you're with...it's okay to extract yourself from your family coz they have their own sh*t...sometimes we're born into a crappy thing and when we get out, we can do better things...so do that...when you leave, go to an isolated place where there's not a lot of people like in the country and just let it out...you can start over alive and there are so many things you can do without their sh*t...I wanted to kill myself too before coz of my parents (the possibility of reincarnation stopped me)...wow, small world...that's what I did and yeah...it's their sh*t that made me feel sad coz now that they're not in my life...I'm just happy...I know...they made me feel worthless too, like sh*t on the side of the road, like why don't they just kick me until I die...but they really have their own sh*t and it's not our fault...
you selfish little sh@t....sit there and write something like this when there are people who are suffering REAL misery in the world... sit there with your hands on a thousand dollar computer, telling the world how miserable your life is.... get real, man!!... first off, you 've GOT a family to be the black sheep of....something a lot of us don't have!.... and there's that home you're living in.... and the car you get to ride in... the pizza that's delivered to you.... and this computer you can cry the blues to..... oh, gee....nobody understands you.... well, that's the been the gripe of every kid that's passed eighth grade for years and years!!.... it happened to me fifty years ago!!!..... I wanted out, too..... but then a friend of mine died in a wreck.... and I got to see the pain and misery his family, who loved Him, too, just like yours does you, how they cried and missed him and fell apart.... and I realized that my family would be double hurt if I took my own life!!!!... and how could I be so stupid to think that me not being here would make things better for anyone but me????..... sure, I'd be outta here, but the people that I left behind would suffer so much pain!!!.... that's so selfish of me..... better that I keep living and hurting right along with the rest of the world..... mainly, because one day, I grow up, the pain eases, love happens and I was terribly glad I was there to enjoy it!!!!.....
there is nothing so confused as a teenager.... I'm nearing the end of my natural life and I'll tell you true, there's no way I"d want to go back and be a teen again... it was too hard to get thru the FIRST time... but I DID... and now I'm enjoying the fruits of having done it..... you will, too... if you just give Life time to slow down and even out..... go get some help.... nothing wrong with something to slow your hard thoughts down a little..... and letting someone know that you're miserable is the first step toward the healing..... just sitting around acting all weird isn't the same as telling someone straight out that you're hurting bad.....don't stop living... you'll miss something wonderful..... or someone .....
I wish I could reach out and thump ya on top of yer head and then hug the stuffin' outta ya.... you're blessed and you don't realize it yet... loved, and you don't know it.... stop and THINK, pal... leave your own pain behind and think of someone ELSE for a change.... I'm here, right on the other end of my email addy... ya wanna gab?... go for it.... I 'd love to hear ya complain ...... I really do care cuz I've been right where you are and I know it's not a good place to be... wanna help you crawl outta that hole..... hugs, kiddo.....
Don't do it. You think your family don't understand you but I've had friends whom had thought the same as you but if only they could of seen just how much they were loved and how many people cared for them i am sure they would never of gone through with it. Sorry to be harsh but It is such a selfish act, its your family that will each blame each other for not trying harder to understand you. They will be left to deal with your pain. It isn't something you can take back once you have done it. Everyone feels lonely, like an outcast and unloved at some stage in their life. You have to try to push through it. It takes so much more courage to do this then what you are planning to do. Call a free help line, go to a free counselling centre, just something. Everyone in this world is loved by someone, there is someone out there for you but if you go through with this you will never know. I don't know you but please this should never be an option. i wish i could do more for you then write this answer which I'll never Even know that you read but i beg you be COURAGEOUS find it within yourself.
dont ever do this!!!! think about what u can do in life!! life is so beautiful! i had the same feeling like u do but trust me, killing urself is not the solution. dont worry about this, everythings gonna be fine. now i love my life, if i had killed myself, i wouldnt feel gud like i do now! plz dont ever do this, its a big mistake, think about ur family, ur friends :( gud luck!