How does this Prologue sound to you? does it need more work? does it sound inter!


Question: How does this Prologue sound to you!? does it need more work!? does it sound interesting!?
She wondered about him sometimes, couldn’t help but worry that somewhere she had done her job as a mother wrong!. She wasn’t worried when he started walking at the time he was suppose to be sitting, or when he started to talk at the age when he was suppose to be learning how to walk !. She accepted that although he was an infant, he acted more like a toddler, she even scolded herself when the kid weirded her out!. Matter fact, she was especially proud of his accomplishment by the time he was one!. She was his mother and as a mother it was her duty to love and protect him no matter how weird his behavior was!.
By the time he was old enough to go to school, she seized to believe that he was normal, sometimes she would even wonder if he was human!. There were times she would pass by his bedroom and hear him speak to himself, sometimes there were heated arguments, sometimes laughter, sometimes in seriousness!. There were plenty of times when he would be looking into space for hours!. Sometimes he seized to be himself at all, like different personalities!. The scariest time though were the times he would sleep for days and wake up as if it was only minutes!. Or the times he would go missing for weeks!. The police and the therapist stopped trying to make sense out of the boy!. He looked as if he was in a world all to himself!. While he excelled in school, his social life was nonexistent!.
There was one boy though who appeared to have befriended him!. That was the only normal thing about his life she thought!. Although, his friend wasn’t all that sane either!. He had a knack for mechanics, there was nothing in the house that his friend hadn’t broke apart and put back together!. His life was all about mechanics, and gadgets that she was afraid to find out the function!. But she didn’t want her son to stop communicating with the boy just because he created potentially dangerous weapons!. Since he was five, you would never find him without his friend!. She didn’t know what to make of a gadget crazed boy and a son that believed he saw invisible people and doors!. So as the years passed by, she accepted her role as his mother and chose to be ignorant of the doings of both her son and his friend!.
Although her son had his defects, she loved him more than anything in the world even when every aspect of his life, the things he said and did were sometimes out of her comprehension!. It was the moments that he said “good morning mommy” or the “ don’t worry mum I love you, and you know that right!?” or the “why don’t you sit and tell me how your feeling mum!?” that allowed her to let him roam around the town, let him sleep all days in, or disappear for some time without worrying!. She knew that no matter what he would always come back to her, that he must have had a reason for being the way he was!. And so she couldn’t very well say no when he brought a girl home to live with them!.Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
OMG! where's the rest of it!?!? I want to read more!! yeah it's definetely a good prologue!! but you should really change "seized" to "ceased" where you have it written, there's a couple other things too, sry I used to be an editor of manuscripts before they got published, so it's just natural for me to notice mistakes, didn't mean to be critical!. But if you want any help editing I'll be glad to!

and in response to your question about an agent( cant answer too many q's cuz I'm only level 1) try looking up Chris Robins, she's located in St!. Louis and she is an EXCELLENT agent, as well as an all around gr8 person, she was affordable when I worked for her about 6-7 yrs ago, b4 she moved to St!. Lou dont know about now though, but she will get you THE BEST contracts!. Although I have to warn you, she can be brutally honest about your work, she's been a writer and published since she was a kid, don't take her criticisms as personal attacks, she knows what she's doing!.Www@Enter-QA@Com



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