Do You Like My Song I Wrote It!


Question: Do You Like My Song I Wrote It
here it goes

i miss you
i miss your smile
and i will miss every thing about you for awhile

i see your face everywhere
i love the smell of your hair
i see you in my sleep
my love for you is deep

i know you will never like me
just to see you i would pay a fee
i even see you in my dreams
to me your beauty always beams

i cried when we had to leave ech other
i will never love another
you are the one
my love for you will never be done

i miss you
i cant get over you
because i love you
i love you
i love you!


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Answers:
don't get me wrong, these are good lyrics!.

but here's a few tips from a fellow composer:
the song is too!.!. straightforward!?
try some metaphors, maybe be more vague!?
& you could maybe try putting your song into a pattern,
i!.e a verse, a chorus, etc!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

Hmm!.Too much "I love you" or "love","you"But sounds ok so far and it seems to be a poem other than a song!.If you want it to be a song I suggest you make it longer!.!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

yea thoughs are really good lyrics you have a really good song there Www@Enter-QA@Com

It's beautifulWww@Enter-QA@Com

Too cliche :\Www@Enter-QA@Com



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