Is This Story Really That Bad?? ?!

Question: Is This Story Really That Bad!?!? !?
Please Help Me!.!. I write storys based on life and emotions!. here's a story i worte called: A Lonley Star
Based On Upon My Life & Other's Too

There Once Was A Girl Named Star!. No one really cared about her!. Not at school either at home!. The girls in school were total brats and her family just cares about the new baby boy mom had!. To her nobody is really home!. Home, where they care But, the only thing that would catch star’s eye was this boy!. No one could even understand him!. He doesn’t talk to much but, there was something star was curious about!. The way he looked!. What he wore and that he would never talk!. She wanted to talk to him but, she was scared to never see him again!. Just because of the three mean queens that always follow him!. “gulp”!.
As Star Walked Into Her House Her Mom Said “Where Are You!?” Star Replied “I’m Right Here Mom!.” Suddenly her mom steps out!. Ignoring star!. She was just finding the baby!. Wooptedoo it can crawl!. Star just went to her room to start on her homework!. Algebra 2 to be exact!. With no one to help her she was just lonely!. The only thing that makes star sleep is to cry the pain away!.
The Next Morning Star was trying to figure out what she could wear!. In her closet there was Old Jeans, 3 White T-Shirts, A Flower Skirt (torn), and a special dress!. So special it was never worn, bought, or cleaned!. Star just found it in her closet all just left there when she’d just moved in two weeks ago!. She was just as herself today waiting for the bus or as the three mean queens Jessica, Jenny, & Jackie would call it the yellow kiddy dump truck!.
As star was entering the bus all the seats have been taken or “reserved”!. The only spot left was next to the boy star was curious about!. His name was Sam!. As she sat down next to Sam she saw a clear, shiny thing catching her eye!. It was Sam’s bracelet!. Was shaped as a star and was clear!. Why a star!?!? Not a simple Skull!?!? Star thought!. “Hi I’m Sam” Sam Said!. He actually talked to me! Star thought!. Why will Sam only talk to star!?
It’s A Mystery in fact!. She Felt So Lucky
After School She Just Did The Usual!. Lump, Do homework, cry and sleep, but she dreamed about Sam That Night!. This was her dream: as star woke up Sam woke her up!. Sam Says Good Morning Hun!. Then there’s a knock at her door it was flowers and chocolate!. Sam Was Waiting Outside her porch in his convertible!. It was like the world was spinning backwards or was Sam actually dating Star!?!? What Could this mean!?!?
When She Arose She Got Ready For
School she put on her clothes and ran to the bus to sit next to Sam!. She Said “Sam Why don’t you even talk to other people but, just only talk to me!?”!. Sam Replied With “ cause your not like other girls or kids Star!. You seem Like A lonely star!.”” Besides you always have ignored me & “examined” me”!. “Oh!.!. Because !.!.Umm!.” Star Replied!. “ it was your dream right!?!?” Sam Said!. How Could Sam Know About her Dream!. Was it Faith Or a Dumb trick!?!?

Sam Ended With “ Meet Me after school…I’ve Got Something to tell you!.”
So As I waited 8 hours of boring school dying to wait for what Sam was going to say!. Finally! Saved by the bell! Sam & Star met Next To the Old Willow Tree!. “ look I know about your dream!., cause I had the same dream!. By the look in your eyes you’ve must have had that dream!. That dream had told me you are one!. The only one for me!.”
Sam Said!. Star Replied With “ Are You Trying To Ask me Out!?!?” Sam Replied By Holding Her Hand Kissing her then, whispering in her ear
In Star’s hand was Sam’s Phone Number!. Star Happy Danced All the Way Back To her Dance To Go Call Sam & Reserve A Date Near The Lake, a picnic!. Good thing that Day was Friday!. After Talking to Sam she went right to sleep to go on her date
The next morning!. Just When She Woke Up she Pulled Out her Phone & Called Sam for their date!.
2 years past!. it's Seinor Year!. Then Something Horribly Terrible Happened When It Was Their 2nd Year Anniversary!.
There had to be something wrong!.
Later In the Afternoon she went to Sam’s House!. Sam’s Mom Was Crying!. Mrs!. Sam’s mom!. Why are you crying!? star said!. Star Said “ Is Sam here!?!? He said he would meet me here an hour ago!.” “ Star!.!. Sam Is Dead!.”
Star Said” No! No! He Must Be Where He Was Supposed To meet me! I know” Star Ran Away To Where Sam was Supposed To meet her!. He wasn’t There!. Suddenly Her Phone Started To Ring!. It was Sam’s Mom She Said “Sam is really dead!. He went out for a walk this morning and a crazy car driver just ran over my son!. I’m sorry Star!. He was meaning to give you a note he gave for me to hold!. Why don’t you come to get it!?”
She went Back To Sam’s House & read the note!.
Star no matter what happens to me !. I want you to still remember & believe in me!. You will always be in my heart forever more!. I love you star!. You’re my only true love!. The only one for me!.!.
My only star

So Guys Tell Me What You Think Ok! Bye!Www@Enter-QA@Com

whoa thats a good storyWww@Enter-QA@Com

Its too straight forward!.
I'm confused of what the point of it is!.!.!.
but if you were to continue it, it would be good

the story would need some major editing, but it's a nice short story!.
it has an interesting main idea!. :)
good luck with future writing! :)Www@Enter-QA@Com

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