My girl (a Sag) has lost her best friend and she is now devastated?!


Question: My girl's best friend died from a car accident.
When she heard the news, she quickly called me up and we rushed to the hospital.
but it was too late, her friend had passed away before we got there.

My girl has totally lost control and cried a river.
I've never seen her so upset being together with her for almost two years now. They had been good friends for 10 years! I understand her pain. I want to help her but I don't know what to do. She hasn't spoken a lot since then. She can't stop crying. She told me she felt the pain like her heart really hurt. She told me she couldn't imagine her days would be like without her friend.

She made me cry. I don't want to see her upset. I really don't know what I can do to cheer her up. I think she has cried all her tears out. I wonder if there's any tear left to cry.
She didn't want to eat and didn't want to do anything. She even cries in her sleep.
Oh God! This is killing me! This hurts me so badly.

She always is a strong girl. She’s optimistic and cheerful, but now she seems very emotionally unstable. Can anyone tell me as a boyfriend of hers, what else I can do to help her make it through? No matter what, I’m always be there with her getting through this hard time.

Sags, tell me!


Answers: My girl's best friend died from a car accident.
When she heard the news, she quickly called me up and we rushed to the hospital.
but it was too late, her friend had passed away before we got there.

My girl has totally lost control and cried a river.
I've never seen her so upset being together with her for almost two years now. They had been good friends for 10 years! I understand her pain. I want to help her but I don't know what to do. She hasn't spoken a lot since then. She can't stop crying. She told me she felt the pain like her heart really hurt. She told me she couldn't imagine her days would be like without her friend.

She made me cry. I don't want to see her upset. I really don't know what I can do to cheer her up. I think she has cried all her tears out. I wonder if there's any tear left to cry.
She didn't want to eat and didn't want to do anything. She even cries in her sleep.
Oh God! This is killing me! This hurts me so badly.

She always is a strong girl. She’s optimistic and cheerful, but now she seems very emotionally unstable. Can anyone tell me as a boyfriend of hers, what else I can do to help her make it through? No matter what, I’m always be there with her getting through this hard time.

Sags, tell me!

I'm not a Sag, but I know what it's like to see a Sag fall apart. My mom is a Sag, and my dad, her husband, died in August, very suddenly of a heart attack. Never in my life did I see my mom become unglued like she did. Sags are normally happy-go-lucky people, so they are really out of their element (as well as those around them) when something like this hits them so hard. In reality, there's not much you can do but make her life easier for her. If she wants to be alone, leave her alone. It was hard for me to leave my mom alone, since I was so concerned for her, but I knew that if I didn't leave her alone as she wanted, she'd get even more upset. I think when things like this happen, Sags need some alone time to really feel through their sorrow. Eventually, she'll open up again and will want to talk to you. Sometimes, she'll want to have happy times and memories with you (one of the things my mom did was buy tickets to shows and last week we saw an opera together). Sometimes, she's gonna want to talk and cry with you. Just be there for her. Listen to her and care for her. And Sags are blunt. Even in pain, they'll tell you what they want and need, so do as she asks. If she needs you, she'll definitely let you know (and she'll probably need you sooner than you think). You can't fix the situation or take away her pain, but you can be there for her and be the caring boyfriend you are. Just keep doing that, and she'll be so grateful. My thoughts are with you. Good luck.

just be there to listen to her. and for a shoulder to cry on.

ive heard this before! there are grievance charities who do councelling, just flickety flick on the internet and get a professionals opinion!

That's awful. I am so sorry for the both of you. There is absolutely nothing you can say and not a whole lot you can do. All you can do is be therre for her to talk to when she needs you. She needs to get herself through this and it will take time. It isnt easy.

Just be there for her. A friend of mine was murdered in high school, I don't remember how long it was until I was able to laugh again. She'll never forget.

just cuddle with her and keep listening.

Just be her strong shoulder to cry on. there is nothing anyone can do. She'll probably need some grief counselling.

. We all want to live forever, but in reality, can we count on another day? The days of our lives are numbered. We don't know what that number is, but certainly there is no guarantee that we will live through another day.

What would you do with your life if you did know the day that you were going to die? Let's just say that you knew that you last day of life would be December 24, 2010? If you could do anything that you wanted - as long as it wasn't harmful to anyone else, what would you do? Travel, spend all your money, fall in love? Would you help others? Perhaps you would want to make your life right - you know, get all the negatives out and get right with God. It gives us a lot to think about, doesn't it?

The truth of the matter is that we really don't know how many days we have. Doing the things that we hope to do, or want to do, will take time, so what are we waiting for? The time to start living right and enjoying life is right now!

How lovely are you?! You're a wonderful boyfriend to even inquire with others. Just be there for her. She needs your loving support. This is devastating to lose a friend of so many years. Her life is forever changed.

i am a sag and went througha similar experience with my nana i didnt lose her in a car accident but it was still a lost the only thing i can suggest is just be there for her keep and eye onher but dont smother her she needs to go through this greif it not something you can put a time span on because everyone is different.

as much as this hurts you to see your girlfriends going through this pain it is good in a way because she is letting it all out ans not bottling it in.

another thing to with the funeral (if it hasnt already been) it will be her chance to say goodbye and maybe after that she will be on the mend losing someone so close to you can take a long time to heal i mean it been 20 years since my nana passed and it still hurts.

i hope this helps mate just be strong for her it all you can do really if you get really worried then ring a helpline or talk to her parents or someone to help get professional help only as a last resort though.

hang in there.
Sonya

I can only imagine what she must be going through. If it were me, I'd just want your presence. I wouldn't want you to ask me a whole lot of questions about it, but just be there when I need to vent, or for a shoulder to cry on. Every once in a while, ask her if she's OK, and see if she needs anything. But your presence is the most important thing, so that she doesn't feel like she's alone in the situation.

One thing that may help is to go to memory-of.com and she can establish a memorial to her friend and that alone may help her handle this. a friend lost his wife and this is what he did to handle the pain of losing someone he loved. I will give you a link to that and you can look it over. The memorial is free for a period of time but for less than $100 it can be a perpetual memory and will always be there. It is hard to lose a friend or loved one and not have a chance to say goodbye but this is a way of doing that and establishing a memorial for that person. You sound like a good person to be there for her through this and I applaud you for that.

Dude m so sorry 4 both of u, but this s not wat u r goin 2 need... Taking her out 2 pleasant places wud be a good idea but make sure she hasn't been ther wit her frnd already...Do all those things that she wudn ve done wit her frnd to keep her distracted 4m this topic.. i cant tink of nething else cos ten yrs of good frnd ship is not a joke n i dono the pain as i ve nt had such a frnd til now... Keep us informed in case of progress.. Don worry.. N ya wat ever happens u of all keep smiling.. That in itself is gonna be soothing...

It sounds like it happened recently,so Ive found that telling the person grieving that your there if and when they want to talkmeans a lot. Just sitting by there side or holding themis worth a thousand words. Give her time. If she needs more help you may suggest agrief consilor.Are a program for both of you.Agroup of people who have been there. As far as cheering her up that will come in time.

Take her on a nature trip! Those always help, or just change the setting. There talk to her about the situation. Let her know that she must become a stronger person and instead of crying over the past, she must accept it to move on. Tell her that her friend probably doesn't want her ruining her life over it.

If you can't do that...give her chocolate and lots. Give her random kisses and hugs. Let her know you're there for her. Make her laugh.

ALWAYS APPEAR CALM!

After sometime show that you are over the whole thing-maybe she'll follow suit. If not see a professional, it might be beyond your power to help her.

You are a great partner to care enough to ask for help ... I know what it feels like to lose someone dear. When I lost my mother I could not stop crying for almost a month before I knew I had to seek a professionals help.

I do not know how long your girlfriend has been suffering with this lose, but pay close attention to her body language. She could actually develop a much more serious problem that could disable her everyday way of life.

I'm no doctor, but I know in such a situation you will also share her pain and it is important that you ALWAYS stay sincere, and understanding. If your girlfriend is still grieving after a months time I think you should encourage her to speak to someone. There's no shame in admitting you can't handle it all on your own. I thinks it's also important to emphasize that this type of grievance causes stress that is harmful to her health.

I hope this helps in some way, be thankful you have each other for the holidays. I will be praying for the both of you.

i was so sad to read your post.....although I don't think im any help whatsoever to you!

im a leo, and 5 months ago my best friend and i had a terrible fight and we no longer speak. we are no longer friends. And even though it doesn't compare to the death of a friend (although this i experienced nearly 3 years ago) it hurts like hell, and I cry everyday for the friend i've lost.. its like a part of me has died too...all you can really do is be there for her. when she needs you, she will let you know....

take care!

I'm very sorry to hear that, hun. ='(

There's nothing much you can do but to be there for her. I'm a Sag and although I've never lost my friends but reading this, I can constantly relate to her feelings of such a miserable pain losing someone she loves. 10 years of friendship. It's such a precious.

Be patient and don't rush her. Let her grief and when she's ok, she'll be ok.

Just listen

Be there for her, encourage group activities with your best friend, she and some of her friends to distract her.
When you lose someone that close to you, they are on your mind constantly for quite some time, although there isn’t much you can do but deep down she knows that you care and it's all it matters! She’ll be so thankful that she has such a loving boyfriend to help her out and be with her going through hard times.

Eventually, things will be better.

Give her your full support.

Good luck, hun!

that's so sad. there's nothing you can really do, but in time she will get better.

My condolences to you and your girlfriend.

Having my boyfriend around during my father's passing earlier this year helped me a lot.

Along with feeling lots of sadness, anger is also normal when grieving.

It takes time to heal from a loss. No words or activities can really speed that up. Just stay by her side.

Sag girls are very strong, therefore, when we do experience pain and sorrow, the heart must have been hit real hard to set us back like that..........When we hurt, we hurt deeply, but it doesn't mean that we can't overcome it with time. Your constant support, understanding, patience and guidance will eventually help see her through this rough period in her life. Perhaps you can show her how she used to enjoy things. Let her know that her best friend would not have wanted her to grieve this way. She must celebrate her best friend's memory by maintaining her own strength and living life to the fullest. Do allow her that time to process her loss. I know it hurts you to see her in such agony, but she needs to grieve in her own way. Don't give up on her. She needs you more now than ever before..........Once she's back to herself again, she will realize the kind of love you have for her.........Don't worry, Sags are able to return from anything......

Really sorry to hear that. My condolences to you both.

When we get down, we get really down, I know. Just be there. She may not feel like talking about it, but your presence will be a great comfort to her.

Be there hunny. Just listen and hold her.
She's going thorough everything that she ever did with that friend and then she's going to go thorough everything she hasn't done, everything she ever said, the last time she saw her, everything that will change, every time she hugged her, every time they laughed, all the good and bad memories, etc. that's over-whelming for anyone. Let her cry and get it out of her system. She won't forget and it'll hurt a lot, but she needs to let it all out.

I suppose Fireball put it succintly,...And Stockwomanmich was summing up that simple philosophy of life,"Through the deaths of others we appreciate LIFE,and realise life is for living",...OffensiveToAll,I've had close friends die,Shock overtakes you,And then a hammer hits you,...I kept my thoughts to myself,and let it work itself out,While blabbering a load of horsemanure to people,...Anyway,It worked itself out of the system day by day,....regards,Jemmy.

continue doing what ur doing, be there for her. try taking her out.... its gonna take time, but she will regain strength and continue to go on. she will never forget her best friend, but will think of her oftenly. remind her that her friend has returned to where she came from, and it's apart of life. it will be hard and truly devistating, but ur being a super sweet boyfriend. she will so appreciate it, and through time she will be better, but will also be thanking u for being there for her.
but this is a case of her losing her best friend, so, u gotta give her the time to realize it that her friend is REALLY gone. for sagittarius its a sudden shock when something so devistating happens, but with the right treatment they bounce back up, cuz they r strong, and accept it as apart of life. things wont be the same for her cuz as we sagittarius.. when we feel, we feel deeply, and it's hard and will hurt, but u hide it behind a whole lot of things...... thats just how it is.
make sure she eats, SUPPORT her, talk to her, make her talk to a lot of ppl, let her pour out all the feelings she's feeling. she needs to empty out the sorrow.

u know how sagittarius r... when a sagittarius loves someone its with their whole heart and everything that they got in them... its true. but luckily we r strong ppl emotionally.......

(im a sagittarius.. who has dealt with a lotta shii in life... but its nothing but experience to become a better person...)

take care and god bless.



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