Help: I am a Scorpio with a Virgo friend...?!
Question: ...I have been avoiding. We have hung out for years, but the friendship never seems to deepen beyond the social (movie dates, attending each other's shows, etc.) because she is way too critical and seemingly unfeeling and I am highly sensitive and adverse to heavy criticism. I also like to share my feelings, but she cuts off my discussions of anything too deep or emotional with criticism and advice. We enjoy many of the same movies, but our dinner conversations leave me feeling put-down and cold. She also wields her age over me, or tries to. We are very far apart in age. At the same time, she has always been supportive of my artistic work.
I don't have many close friends, so I am not sure I should end this relationship. About two years ago, my spiritual teacher actually got upset with me for not dropping this friend. Now I am wondering if she was right. The friendship has become dry and painful, but, like many Scorpios, I am extremely loyal, and it is hard for me to let go.
Answers: ...I have been avoiding. We have hung out for years, but the friendship never seems to deepen beyond the social (movie dates, attending each other's shows, etc.) because she is way too critical and seemingly unfeeling and I am highly sensitive and adverse to heavy criticism. I also like to share my feelings, but she cuts off my discussions of anything too deep or emotional with criticism and advice. We enjoy many of the same movies, but our dinner conversations leave me feeling put-down and cold. She also wields her age over me, or tries to. We are very far apart in age. At the same time, she has always been supportive of my artistic work.
I don't have many close friends, so I am not sure I should end this relationship. About two years ago, my spiritual teacher actually got upset with me for not dropping this friend. Now I am wondering if she was right. The friendship has become dry and painful, but, like many Scorpios, I am extremely loyal, and it is hard for me to let go.
OH GOD! Is this my guy friend talking (who happens to be a Scorpio)?
Oh boy. We Virgos are very bad about this. Here's what I did if you want to know of someone who has figured this out and has been on a 2 year path to changing my ways:
1. He was the one who had to point out to me that I've been messing up. He pointed it out by not talking to me, backing away, dropping hints and so forth. Once I figured it out, I immediately got help.
2. In my help, I came to find out that his guy has been the best thing for me in my life and if I wanted to keep him, I had to get it together.
3. I realized that there was a lot of problems in me and that I was very, very critical of myself. Once I became "enlightened" (like one of the previous posts stated), that's when I figured it out and since wants to serve him in any way I can.
Unless this person isn't showing signs of change and growth, then I guess it is best to let them go. But, if this person you're friends with is like me and starts to see the light, you'll come to find that we are the best people to be around.
The things that this friend proved to me that I never had in my life were:
1. Grace
2. Unprejudice
3. Love
That's what caused me to want to change. And, I'll eternally be forever grateful to him for it.
I really hope it all turns out.
P.S. I'm not perfect and I mess up and forget. But, if you care about them, then you'll offer grace.
I understand your pain...I'm a Scorpio with a Virgo for a husband, a Virgo for a daughter, and my father is also a Virgo; so as you can tell, things happen for a reason. Everything will work out if the 2 of you can find a common ground. Just hang in there.
Well not all people are meant to be friends, it's good that she supports you work maye you should only let her into that part of your life though, otherwise this realtionship is going to be more draining than it's worth, as a scoprio myself i don't have many close friends either but I'd rather it be like that then full of half-way non-commital friends.
You're describing the unenlightened Virgo. I'd say that, because Virgos love to be of service to other people, she will enjoy working on herself once you gently point out to her her excesses and automatic behaviour.
If she takes permanent offence, then you can drop her as a friend. At least you tried.
But! Virgos love formulas and learning. Perhaps introducing her to astrology would be a more subtle method of making her more self-aware.
Don't forget that maybe you need an Earthy person in your life. Her way of thinking and being should be interesting and valuable for you, and one day you might need her practical traits.
Ax
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