Special High Intensive Training?!

Special High Intensive Training?

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivitiy from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSIVE TRAINING (S.H.I.T.) We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially shilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to take S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T. already.

1 day ago
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR of INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).
If you have any further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.)

Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

Hey! That's posted in my company's policies! You must work here too.