Alternative nursery rhymes.... old but good?!


Question:

Alternative nursery rhymes.... old but good?

Not for children, unless your an evil parent. lol

Old mother hubbard
went to her cupboard
to fetch her poor doggy a bone
but when she bent over
up popped rover
and gave her a bone of his own.



sing a song of sixpence
a pocket full of rye
four and twenty blackbirds
baked in a pie
when the pie was opened
a shrivelled blackbird sat
saying "alright lad a jokes a joke, what rotten sod did that"



ding dong bell
p*ssy down a well
how can you tell
by the bleeding awful smell
who let it out
little tommy trout
then he had a sniff
and he thru him in again
down went the rope
down went the bucket
down went the cat
and he shouted "F*ck it".



Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
.but she didn't wear that one very often



Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's @rse
and turned it's wool to nylon



Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.


Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a roll of cheese,
Jack came down with a grin and a smile and his trousers down to his knees


Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet,
Her clothes were all tattered and torn,
But it wasn't the spider that had sat down beside her,
It was Little Boy Blue with his HORN.


Answers:

Thanks :)


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