Funny Jokes?!
Question:
Funny Jokes?
Do you have any funny jokes? in a funny mood! :)
Answers:
1. 2 peanuts walked into a bar...
One was a salted.
2. 2 men walked into a bar...
The 3rd one ducked!
3. A magician was riding down the street...
Then he turned into a driveway!
4. Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.
5. A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice, says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"
6. When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.
7. One day, 3 men rushed their wives into the Emergency Room for labor.
After a while, the doctor came out and said, "Mr. Smith, Mr. Smith, are you here?"
"Yes doctor, im right here," he said anxiously.
"Great news," explained the doctor, "Twins!"
"Wow, thats great, because I work for the DoubleMint company."
About 5 minuter later, the doctor came out and yelled, "Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones, are you hear?"
"I'm right year Doc," he said.
"Mr. Jones, great news, triplets!"
"Spectacular!" he said. "Because I work for 3M."
A while later, the doctor came out again and said, "Mr. Ford, Mr. Ford, are you here?"
"Right here docta," he said.
"Wonderful news! It's-"
"Wait a minute!" the man said. "I ain't stickin' around for this! I work at the 7-11."
8. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A Fsh.
9.A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey buddy, Why the Long Face"
10. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
I have no I-Deer
11. What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
I hope you liked them.