Need cheering up, and read a few jokes on yahoo that were funny?!

Need cheering up, and read a few jokes on yahoo that were funny?

has any one got any more good jokes to keep me laughing for the night.

A little boy wanted $50 so badly to buy his Mom a special Christmas present, so he prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.

Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.

The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.

President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was so delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:

Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $45.00.
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A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my 'old man' could nearly touch the floor." .. the crocodile bit off his legs.
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A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it? God says "no" and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.
Upon her recovery she decides to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she has another 30-40 years, she might as well make the most of it.

She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. She arrives in front of God and asks, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?"

God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."
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Max, a lonely widow, was walking home along Broadway wishing something wonderful would happen into his life when he passed a Pet Store and heard a squawking voice shouting at him: "Hey, you, Mister, why don't you come in and buy me?" Max rubbed his eyes and ears. Couldn't believe it. The proprietor sprang out of the door and grabbed Max by the sleeve.
"Come in here, fella, and check out this parrot..." Max stood in front of an African Grey that cocked his little head and said: "You speak English?" The parrot answered: "What did you think, Chinese?"

In a matter of moments, Max had placed five hundred dollars down on the counter and carried the parrot in his cage away with him. All night he talked with the parrot, talking about his lonely life. The Parrot told him how lonely it was to live in a cage. They became good friends.

Next morning, Max, before he ate his breakfast, read aloud a page from the Bible. The parrot demanded to know what he was doing and when Max explained, the parrot wanted also to read a page from the Bible. So Max went out and ordered a miniature Bible for the parrot.

On Sunday, Max went to his church and demanded that the parrot could come in and pray to. The Minister refused, saying a church was no place for a parrot. But Max insisted, saying that the parrot would pray out aloud, since he was a talking parrot. He would also sing hymns.

None of the worshippers believed Max, and they bet Max at even odds that the parrot could not say his prayers nor sing a hymn. Thousands of dollars were bet. During the services, the parrot perched on Max's shoulder and did not open his mouth. He neither prayed nor sang hymns. After the services were concluded, Max found that he owed his buddies over four thousand dollars.

He paid. He marched home, pissed off, saying nothing. Finally several blocks from the church the bird began to recite the 23 psalm. Max stopped and looked at him. "You miserable bird, you cost me over four thousand dollars. Why? Haven't I been good to you? Is this how you repay me?"

"Don't be a fool," the parrot replied. "Think of the odds next Sunday when you take me to church".