The state of affairs?!


Question:

The state of affairs?

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
bombing and threats to destroy nightclubs and airports and therefore
have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved'.


Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or
even "A Bit Cross". Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz
in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.


Terrorists have been officially re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a
"Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody
Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of London in 1666.


Also, the French government announced yesterday that it had raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by
a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralysing the country's military capability.


It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert.


Italy has increased the alert level from "shout loudly and excitedly"
to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective
combat operations" and "change sides".


The Germans, wishing to stay in lock-step with their neighbours, have
also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance" to "dress
in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher alert levels:
"invade a neighbour" and "lose".


Answers:

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