Some more jokes !! Hope u like them !! Enjoy evenif they have been read or heard!

Some more jokes !! Hope u like them !! Enjoy evenif they have been read or heard before ; what say ?

Peanuts on M & M ***

An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other.

The young man had noticed that the older man always seemed to have a jar of peanuts on his desk. The young man loved peanuts.

One day while the older man was away from his desk, the young man couldn't resist and went to the old man's jar and ate over half the peanuts.

When the old man returned the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts.

The old man responded, "That's OK. Since I lost my teeth all I can do is suck the chocolate off the M&Ms."

Clinton in Hell *****

Clinton dies and goes to hell...

The Devil being amused by Clinton and all he's done up here, decides to give him a break.

"Just for you, cuz I've had so much pleasure in watching all your wrong doings. I am going to let you decide where you would like to spend your eternal life, you'll have a choice of three doors to peek in to, what ever door you chose, that will be your 'new home' FOREVER.

Clinton thanks the Devil for his kindness and the proceed down the hall until they come upon the first door.

They peek in... Charles Manson is tied to a stake burning to death. "N..N.. No way" says Clinton.

They approach the second door. Clinton's lawyer is tied up ready to be drawn and quartered, "Bastard" says Clinton "He deserves it... but this is still not for me" "Ok" says the Devil.

They finally reach the third door, the Devil opens it, much to Clinton's surprise he sees Ken Starr shackled to the wall and Monica is kneeling down in front of him doing what she does best. "Ohhh hellllll...... yes!!!!!" says Clinton "This is definitely where I want to be!!!"

"Are you absolutely sure?" asks the Devil, "Once you go through there's no turning back". "I am sure?" replies Clinton. "Well... of course I'm sure... in fact I'm looking forward to it... you know you're not such a bad guy after all", says Clinton beaming with pleasure, patting the Devil on the back.

So they proceed through the door, Clinton starts to unbutton his pants, the Devil walks over to Monica and kicks her to one side. "Get up" he commands "Your replacement is here!!"
Clinton in Heaven II ****

Clinton died and went to heaven -- or to be more accurate --approached the gates. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter.

"It's me, Bill Clinton"

"And what do you want?" asked St. Peter.

"Lemme in!" replied Clinton.

"Soooo," pondered Peter. "What bad things did you do on earth?"

Clinton thought a bit and answered, "Well, I smoked marijuana but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale. I guess I had extra-marital sex -- but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't really have 'sexual relations.' And I lied, but I didn't commit perjury."

After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won't call it 'Hell.' You'll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won't call it 'eternity.' And don't 'abandon all hope' upon entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over."

WOW!!! Superb jokes! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! LMAO!!! I love your jokes Sweetie! Here's a star for you!!!