The 5 Parts of Marriage (star if you can handle it...lol)?!

The 5 Parts of Marriage (star if you can handle it...lol)?

Typical macho man married and a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:



Man: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing,
boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't
you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules.
Any comments?"



"His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night................whether you're here or not."




"(DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)



"Marriage (Part II)



Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you
a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever
" "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At
Last"



(HE ASKED FOR IT!)




Marriage (Part III)


Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and
storms out of the house. After sometime, he realizes he was
nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes
to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what
took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in
bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second
opinion!"



(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)





Marriage (Part IV)



A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of
himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite
of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The
man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his
wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his
voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?' His wife, irritated
by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime
you're ready, Father of Four."



RIGHT ON, LADY!)






Marriage (Part V)




The Silent Treatment




A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the
bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM Wake up."



Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the
masterpiece.

thanks