Shorter one for you?!

Shorter one for you?

A man, who basically lived his life in debauchery and sin, dies and ends up in Hell.
He's sitting down looking all gloomy, when a demon sits down next to him and asks, "Why are you looking so down?"
"Think about it," the man replies. "I'm in Hell. Things are gonna be bad from here on out."
The demon says to that, "Actually, things are pretty fun down here. Do you like poker?"
"Yeah," the man replies.
"Then you'll love Tuesdays. Every Tuesday, we play poker of every kind, and we gamble to our hearts content. And since there are no laws down here, nothing's illegal, and we can get away with it!"
The man looks like he's cheering up a little, and the demon continues. "You like drinking and smoking?"
"Hell yeah," the man says. "I used to be a heavy drinker and smoker."
"Then you'll love Thursdays. Every Thursday, we break out the kegs, shots, and cigarettes, and everyone smokes and drinks themselves silly. And the best part is, since we're already dead, no one has to worry about cancer or anything like that!"
The man is really looking happy, when the demon then asks, "Hey, are you gay?"
"Uh, no," the man replies.
The demon, shaking his head, says, "Oh, you're gonna hate Saturdays."

Hell of a surprise?