Most contrived joke or pun?!
Question:
Most contrived joke or pun?
OK, here's my convolutedly contrived joke. I'll give 10 points to an equally contrived effort!
A church wanted to host a bronze sculpting class and invited some celebrity guests to pose as models. The class waited to see which celebs would turn up and were thrilled to see Vijay Singh, the Fijian PGA golfer arrive. They all rushed forward to start work on him and one poor student was shoved aside and left out while the others started work on Vijay. Then Mick Jagger walked in and they all went beserk and raced towards him, once again pushing aside the same student. Luckily the minister intervened with some well chosen words from the Bible;
"Let he who is without Singh cast the first Stone!"
Answers:
A scientist is working on a formula for immortality. So far, his most promising results are from using an extract of the adrenal glands of seagulls, but it doesn't work on any of the usual test animals like rats or monkeys, only porpoises, who show no signs of aging whatsoever. When his supply source for seagull adrenal glands announces they're no longer able to fulfill such orders, the scientist decides that, since he lives near the ocean, he can just go catch some seagulls himself.
On his way back from a successful seagull-capturing expedition, he hears on his car radio an announcement that a lion has escaped from a local zoo, but that the public should not be alarmed, as this is a very tame lion. When the scientist returns to his lab, he's amazed to find the lion fast asleep, lying across the doorway. He picks up his crate of seagulls and carefully steps over the lion to go inside and phone the zoo. But instead of zoo officials, the police show up to arrest the scientist. The charge? Transporting gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.