Need jokes?!


Question:

Need jokes?

bad day need good jokes


Answers:

After a night of drinking, Steve crept into bed beside his wife
who was
already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his
bed
wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?"
demanded
Steve, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"

The mysterious Man answered, "This isn't your bedroom and I'm
St.
Peter".

Steve was stunned, "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have
so much
too live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family...you've got
to send
me back right away".

St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a
catch. We
can only send you back as a dog or a hen."

Steve was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from
his
house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light
later, he was
covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
"This ain't
so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up
inside
him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new
hen, how
are you enjoying your first day here?"

"It's not so bad," replies Steve, "but I have this strange
feeling
inside like I'm about to explode".

"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've
never
laid an egg before."

"Never," replies Steve. "Well just relax and let it happen." And
so he
did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out
from
under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and
his
emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for
the
first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of
happiness was
overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was
the best
thing that had happened to him ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third
egg he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his
wife
shouting,

"Steve, wake up you drunken bastard, you're sh!ttin' in the bed!


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