Morning Laugh?!


Question:

Morning Laugh?

> >1. Only in America......can a pizza get to
> >your house faster than an ambulance.
> >
> >2. Only in America......are there
> >handicap parking places in front of a
> >skating rink.
> >
> >3. Only in America.......do drugstores
> >make the sick walk all the way to the
> >back of the store to get their
> >prescriptions while healthy people can buy
> >cigarettes at the front.
> >
> >4. Only in America......do people order
> >double cheeseburgers, large fries,
> >and a diet coke.
> >
> >5. Only in America......do banks leave
> >both doors open and then chain the
> >pens to the counters.
> >
> >6. Only in America......do we leave cars
> >worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put
> our useless junk in
> >the
> >garage.
> >
> >7. Only in America....do we use
> >answering machines to screen calls and
> >then have call waiting so we won't miss a
> >call from someone we didn't want
> >to talk to in the first place.
> >
> >8. Only in America....do we buy hot
> >dogs in packages of ten and buns in
> >packages of eight.
> >
> >9.. Only in America......do we use the
> >word 'politics' to describe the process so well:
> 'Poli' in Greek
> >meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking
> creatures'.
> >
> >10. Only in America......do they have
> >drive-up ATM machines with Braille
> >lettering.
> >
> >EVER WONDER
> >
> >Why the sun lightens our hair, but
> >darkens our skin?
> >
> >Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth
> closed?
> >
> >Why don't you ever see the headline!
> >'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
> >
> >Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
> >
> >Why is it that doctors call what they do
> >'practice'?
> >
> >Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you
> >have to click on 'Start'?
> >
> >Why is lemon juice made with artificial
> >flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
> >with real lemons?
> >
> >Why is the man who invests all your money called a
> broker?
> >
> >Why is the time of day with the slowest
> >traffic called rush hour?
> >
> >Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
> >
> >When dog food is new and improved
> >tasting, who tests it?
> >
> >Why didn't Noah swat those two
> >mosquitoes?
> >
> >Why do they sterilize the needle for
> >lethal injections?
> >
> >You know that indestructible black box
> >that is used on airplanes? Why don't
> >they make the whole plane out of that
> >stuff?
> >
> >Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
> >
> >Why are they called apartments when
> >they are all stuck together?
> >
> >If con is the opposite of pro, is
> >Congress the opposite of progress?
> >
> >If flying is so safe, why do they call
> >the airport the terminal?
> >
> >------
> >
> >Now that you've smiled at least once,
> >
> >
> >It's your turn to spread the stupidity and send
> this to someone you
> >want to bring a smile to (maybe even a
> chuckle)...in other words, send
> >it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in
> a while.


Answers:

Starred .
I liked the Politics bit the best. Didn't know that.
Hilarious - All of it was very funny.
Ever thought of becoming a stand up comedian !
You'll do well. Seriously.


The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007 enter-qa.com -   Contact us

Entertainment Categories