What would you do with three wishes? (short story)?!

What would you do with three wishes? (short story)?

Ok you have won a free, all expenses paid trip on a Caribbean cruise. Yay!

You have packed all the essentials and you have been at sea for 13 days when you get pushed over board by a giant dog that wanted to use your leg as his new mate. After spending several days at sea clinging to the only floatation device you could find (a toilet seat) you wash up on the shore of a deserted island. You drag yourself to the nearest freshwater stream and drink until you pass out.

When you finally awake, refreshed and still filthy, you decide to look at your new surroundings. You find a dark bottle, several coconut trees, a plastic taco bell cup and several discarded peacock feathers. After arranging your findings in front of you, you notice that the dark bottle has something solid inside of it so you pull out the stopper and start to shake it upside down. A green mist starts to pour out of the bottle and you drop it (it might be poisonous). For several minutes the mist pours out of the bottle (thats a lot of mist and it's kind of minty smelling).

You hear a voice from the mist "Oh Master! Thank you for freeing me from that wreched bottle. What do you wish of me? How may I repay you?"
A person appears from out of the mist and its...... me!

Ok you've got the traditional 3 wishes, minty mist, dark bottle, coconuts, plastic cup, feathers and you're stuck on a deserted island with me as your genie. What are you going to do?

I would make my first wish to be back on the boat with you.
My second wish would be to have coconut wine out of
a dark bottle that has a minty taste to it.
My third wish would be to shove the feathers up the dogs *** as i shove him off the boat.

That way we would both be tickeld.