Bearly possible?!

Bearly possible?

A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.

"I've never been better!" he boasted, "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think of that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said,"Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. he never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidently grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?"

Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No."

The doctor finished,"The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man, "Someone else must have shot the bear."

"That's kind of what i'm getting at!" replied the doctor.

3 weeks ago
nicholette, people always get my name wrong so i think someone's called me that - i just agree to them now it's easier
in fact myklia is a mistake

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.

"You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!"

Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.

"How do you know this, Sister?"

"My Mother Superior told me so."

"But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?"

"Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself"

"Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life"

"How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!"

"I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know."

The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar.

"Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks", then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "and could you put the vodka in a teacup?"

"Oh no! It's not that Nun again is it?"