I won't get drunk again?!

I won't get drunk again?

A guy went into a bar and told the bartender he can't drink there anymore. "Why not Joe, you're my best customer?" Joe replied, "It's my wife, she's sick and tired of me getting drunk every other night, I do the same thing , I drink until I can't drink anymore then I puke all over myself, come home and my wife gets mad cause she has to clean me up and then I pass out, If I do it one more time - it's divorce court for me" The bartender says, "Joe, here's what to do, before you start drinking, put a $50 bill in your shirt pocket, then if you get drunk and puke all over yourself, you tell your wife you were minding your own business, some guy got sick and puked on you then he apologized and give you $50 to get your suit dry-cleaned!" "OK said Joe, I'll do that!" Sure enough Joe drinks his fill then pukes all over himself as usual and goes home. As soon as he hits the door his wife yells at him. "That's the last damn time Joe, what did I tell you? We're through!" "No wait, says Joe

3 weeks ago
"Let me explain, you see some guy threw up all over me, then he says' "I'm sorry buddy, here's $50 to get your suit cleaned, if you don't believe me look in my pocket for the $50" She looks and says "OK, you weren't lying, but there's 2 $50 bills in your pocket" Oh yeah, says Joe, "He also crapped in my pants"

yeh.. i like that one...bit of bernard manning