Cat and dog rules?!


Question:

Cat and dog rules?

*_To be posted _*VERY LOW*_ on the refrigerator door--_*nose height.*_

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my
food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and
food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by *NASCAR *and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
because I fall faster that you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger that a king-sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue
sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can
actually curl up in a ball when the
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I
also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging
out the other end to maximize space
is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle, I beat you there and
manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow,
try to turn the knob or get you paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have
been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not
required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!


Answers:

most hilarious thing ever it was so funny i was crying and laughing forever!=") were did you find this if you created this ur a comic genius!


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