HR Speak, Is this funny? or True?!
Question:
HR Speak, Is this funny? or True?
What all that Human Resources babble actually means.
"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it. Additional Details
16 hours ago
Sorry to hear that Toolman, she is sad.
Answers: 16 hours ago
Sorry to hear that Toolman, she is sad. I just forwarded this to my HR girl.
She reported me to my supervisor for inappropriate behavior. Uncannily accurate sounds like my last job.lol too true, Just about to start in HR, and I think I had several off these on my job spec Very accurately translated. My hat's off to you, for such outstanding work! lol this is funny and i've never even worked in an office. Funny.........and sadly true. ha ha ha funny I wish when I was looking for a job I had seen this I would been forewarned as it is so true well done sadly, very true!