Can u cheer me up? =(?!


Question:

Can u cheer me up? =(?


my bf left me and he hooked up with one of my best friends... behind my back.can you tell me a good dumb men joke that can make me smile again? it might be a little hard...


Answers: why do men have slits in their underware? so they can get oxygen to their brains.

How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off of his head

** How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
.....We cook -- they eat; we clean -- they dirty; we iron -- they wrinkle.

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a
single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed.
Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom
mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the
stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the
morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "son...what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"

Broken furniture - $85.26
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud -$3.00
Two Aspirins -$.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless. Maybe your man is a boy.

They probably deserve each other.

The sea is full of fish.

Go fish! My mother once put hair cream in a tube on the bathroom sink and my dad thought it was toothpaste til he brushed his teeth with it. She also bought a keyboard at a yard sale thinking it was a computer..... I saw his ad in the singles web site awhile back.It was your gf's idea for him to look.They got too close together at her house surfing the web with no luck that they hooked up together.That's the bad news.Good news the baby is not his. Surely your not mad because he slept with your friend? You weren`t there so your friend simply did you a favor. Now you owe her so you should do the right thing and the two of you both sleep with your boyfriend. Nothing says I love you like a 3some!!!

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