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Answers: a man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and his elbow goes into her breast.they are both quite startled.the man says to the woman 'ma'am,if your heart is as soft as your breast then i know you will forgive me'.the woman says 'if your d*ck is as hard as your elbow I'm in room 221.'....hope you find that as funny as i did

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Sad News

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

You know it's funny....!

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what has wings and sucks blood? Always Ultra!

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No idea what sense of humour you have, but i'll think i'll try a simple yo mama joke ;) (note this is not directed at you abviuosly :))

yo mama soooo stupid.......... she put lipstick on her head just so she could make up her mind.

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the residents of an old folk's home have started a Led Zeppelin tribute band.......their first single is called Stairlift To Heaven

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Old mother Hubbard
went to the cuppboard,
to get her poor daughter a dress
When she got there
the cuppboard was bare
so was her daughter, I guess...

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Say this My dixie wrecked

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Ive just heard on the radio that theres been a bad crash on the motorway !
Sounds quite bad, Ive heard that a vehicle full of snooker tables has crashed into the central reservation .
Apparently there are "queue's" everywhere and the driver's under "arrest "

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A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road the wife gets out and brings it back to the car 'its shivering it must be cold what should I do?' the wife says. The husbands says 'put it between your legs to keep it warm' The wife says 'but it stinks' Husband:'So hold its bloody nose' lol lol

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Young woman on her wedding day....her husband making passionate advances to her...Darling kiss me where it's soft...so he kisses her on her breasts....Darling kiss me where you like to touch me....He kisses her on her thighs...Darling kiss me where it smells......so the husband got up got dressed and took her to Fleetwood....ha ha ha

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While I was watching football this weekend, my wife and I got into a conversation about life and death, and the need for living wills. During the course of the conversation I told her that I never wanted to exist in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and taking fluids from a bottle.

She got up, unplugged the TV, and dumped out my beer.

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lol @ make up her mind..

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New Olreans, AP - A seven-year old boy was at the center
of a St. Charles courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court
ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of
being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to
his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring
that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his
aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live
with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his
grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After
considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that
domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge
took the unprecedented step of al lowing the boy to propose who should
have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer
with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to
the New Orleans Saints, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of
beating anyone.

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No.

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