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Answers: When a young minister was still single, he preached a sermon he entitled, "Rules for Raising Children."

After he got married and had children of his own, he changed the title of the sermon to "Suggestions for Raising Children."

When his children got to be teenagers, he stopped preaching on that subject altogether.
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A doctor walks into his patient's hospital room and asks how the man is doing.

"To tell you the truth, Doc," the patient says, "ever since you operated on my lungs I feel as if something is cutting me every time I breathe."

"Aha," says the doctor happily. "Now I know where I left my scalpel."

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Very Funny LOL

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first one is very true, lol. i liked the second one.

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First one rubbish, second one good.

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the jokes you are telling arte really good tonight where are you getting them from have you got a joke book sitting next to your computer? mmmmm! i bet you have!! but you can have a star anyway!! xxangelxx!!

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No, not exactly got me gasping for breath.

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hahaha funny lol

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ahhhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah...

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Second one not bad Raindrops.

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lol

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lol.lol

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Not bad..i have 1 for you...

DEAF GENIE

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.
The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart! Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says..."Here. Rub it." So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. "I will grant you one wish. Just one wish...each person is allowed only one!" The bartender gets really excited. Without hesitating he says, "I want a million bucks!"
A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming! The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie's a little deaf...I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."
"Tell me about it!!" says the man... "Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"

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very funny lol xxxx

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