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Answers: Too Late To Date

After the death of a never-married 94-year-old spinster, the rector was given a note from her personal belongings.

In the woman's handwriting were specific instructions for her funeral service. Along with the suggestions for Scripture readings and music were the following orders:

"There will be no male pallbearers. Since they wouldn't take me out when I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."


Ditching School

The local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school if the student is to be absent for the day. Kelly, deciding to ditch and go to the mall with her friends, waited till her parents had left for work and called the school herself. This is the actual conversation of the telephone call.

Kelly: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Kelly is unable to make it to school today because she is ill."
Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling?"

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oh not sure if If I should be honest or not (I been on the dog forum they don't like any one saying what they think) but here goes anyway they are a bit corny

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Must try harder!

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Not sure about these. But every joker has an off day so you are allowed it. lol

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They are not bad I mean not as good as some of the ones you give us. Oh God I don't like offending anyone. Sorry you did ask for an honest opinion.

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erm.............. ok could be better I suppose.

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cool

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