Give me the best one liner you have heard....?!


Question: "Friendship is like peeing your pants - everyone can see it but only you get the warm feeling it brings"


Answers: "Friendship is like peeing your pants - everyone can see it but only you get the warm feeling it brings"
do u mean a dialogue?
take my wife please....
eat me
I hope you know CPR because you're stopping my heart.
Yo Mamma is so skinny, she has to tease her hair to keep her drawers up..............#########
I once knew an 80 pound midget with 40 pound testicles. They say he was half nuts.

ba dum BUM!
Girls are like stones; if they're flat, skip 'em.
guys say I remember your face yeah rt
Meet me in the restroom?
Nice Shoes. Let's F**k
My sister was wearing a low cut dress, and my step mom said, "Only a whore would wear a dress like that!"

Her reply, "Would you like to borrow it?"
Your so ugly, that when you were born, the doctor slapped your mother.

Your so ugly, you look like you got hit in the face with a bag full of a--holes.
"If you were a flavor of koolade what flavor would you be. Cuz I dont wanna drink anything else as long as I live"

My Hubby is now sippin his black cherry koolade for life
"Step into my office!"
Wanna go in halves on multiple orgasms??????
What do you call an amish with his hand up a horses ***? Mechanic
You Tube Myspace & I'll Google your Yahoo
I'm a lawyer and trained to get u off.

I AM
This is not to you personally.
I asked once "what have I done to annoy you"(I had done nothing)
The person I asked was in a very bad mood ,I was always the persons mentor,in a hard professional environment.
The answer was..."You Breath".
Is your dad a terrorist, cause you da bomb!
hello darling, I love you - where's the bed?
"Hi, i m Bin Laden......"
"I've Got Christmas on my right leg, Thanksgiving on my left leg...... why don't you come up and visit me in between holidays, honey." (Mae West)
don't ask why today I sent the most random text ever to my best friend cause i was really bored it said "YOU LYING FRUITCAKE YOU ARE NOT DELICIOUS!" all I got back was an 'OK weirdo' but we laughed about it later...
I see, said the blind man to the deaf man.
I did your mom























































a favor






























by making you























































a sandwich

yeah I know it's childish but I couldn't help laughing!
You say you want to blow me but you don't know me!
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "So why the long face?"
you must have fallen from heaven!!!!






























thats y your face is all messed up...
I don't give me phone number to my house because I live with my parents who are old, I have an apt in the back of the house.

It's because ur married.


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