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Answers: i came across these a couple of years ago, and i just saw them again


Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies

-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.


Celebrity Jokes

Q. How did Helen Keller's mother punish her?
A. By rearranging the living-room furniture.

Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A. So she can moan with the other.

Q. What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her for swearing?
A. Washed her hands with soap.

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lol, so funny! yea, the movie ones are funnier, ive heard some other ones:
1) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you exactly when it will go off.

2) Should you need to pass yourself off as a German officer it will not be necessary to speak the language, a convincing accent will do.

3) All apartments in Paris overlook the Eiffel tower.

4) Most lap top computers are powerful enough to override a bank security system or the communication system of an invading alien civilization.

5) Every single person in martial arts Film has a black belt in karate.

6) When staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

7) 1 man shooting at 20 men has more chance of hitting them than 20 men shooting at 1 man if he is the hero.

8) During a police investigation it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once.

9) Large studio-type apartments in big cities are affordable by single people with a low wage.

10) When at a summer camp, the teenagers always go outside, after dark, one by one to confront the insane killer.

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LOL! Actually LOL in the library!
Nice jokes and so true,so true!
Edit: Another thing you learn from the movies:
The hero and the badguys of the movie never have to go to the bathroom. Even after being 10 days in the jungle.
And that the hero (when stranded on a desert island) always finds fresh water and some plant he knows he can eat.

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that was alright...i guess

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LMAO. Those are hilarious jokes.

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haha those are great

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Really wasn't all that funny.
Helen Keller isn't a celebrity.
2 free points. Thanks!!

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haah thoose are funny .

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the movie things are halariouss
the other thingss not so much =\\
u still get a star though =]

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