Does anyone have a funny clean joke?!
Question: I need a joke to tell my class tomorrow and it has to be really funny and clean!
Answers: I need a joke to tell my class tomorrow and it has to be really funny and clean!
A man is sitting in his living room watching television and he hears a knock at the door. The man gets up and opens the door, yet see's nothing. He sits down and then hears another knock at the door. The man gets up and opens the door again, and see's nothing but a slug on the doormat. The man picks up the slug and throws it as far as it can.
1 year later the man hears a knock at the door and when he answers he looks down and see's a slug, the slug says "What the heck did you do that for!!!!"
Blonde joke?
99 blondes and one brunette were hanging onto a ladder that was about to break. If it broke, all of them would die. THe ladder can only hold 99 people. One of the blondes says "hey, we need someone to volunteer to jump off!" After a while, the brunette finally agrees to jump off. After a very touching speech by the brunette... all the blondes clapped. THE END
God was taking his daily walk with Adam in the garden of eden one day when God said: Adam you have been good to me and I want to reward you. I will give you someone who is loyal faithful, kind, generous, wait on you hand and foot, and unconditionally love you. Adam says: I dunno God how much is this goin to cost me? God says: An arm and a leg. Adam says: Well what can I get for a rib?
I liked this joke hope u like it too
.There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting,
"Don't flush, don't flush!"
A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!
What did Bruce Lee order from Burger King? A Wappa! (put your hands out as if doing Karate while you say Wappa. Hope you like this one, it's my favorite one that my friends 5 year old told us.
how do you make a tissue dance?
you blow a little boogie in it.
There was a man who got into a bad car accident. He was lucky enough to pull through with only his ears being amputated. He got a large cash settlement out of the deal. Later, he decided to start a company, but he realized that he didn't know much about running a business. He called in applicants for an interview. The first man came in, and all went well until he was asked to point out something different or unusual about his would-be boss. Right away he said "well, you don't have any ears". The earless man was outraged, as he was very sensitive about his lacking appendages, and threw the applicant out. The second interview was even more qualified than the first, and then was asked the same question. The second man obviously stated, "your'e missing ears", and was escorted from the building. The third applicant far exceeded the rest, and the owner reluctantly asked the same question "do you notice anything different or unusual about me?". The third man took his time answering, and looked him over very closely. "AHA, you are wearing contact lenses, sir!"
The owner was impressed and asked how he had deduced that from just looking at him, and the applicant said....
"Well, you can't wear glasses if you don't have any ears!!!"
This 1 ok?
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices our Little Johnny trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, Little Johnny is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching Little Johnny’s efforts for some time, the priest steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”
To which Little Johnny replies, “Now we run!”