Anyone remember chuck norris??!


Question: ? Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris does.
? There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
? The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
? When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
? Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
? There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
? Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
? Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
? Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
? Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
? Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
? There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
? When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
? Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
? Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
? There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
? Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
? Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
? Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
? Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
? Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
? Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
? Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
? Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress
? Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.


Answers: ? Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris does.
? There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
? The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
? When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
? Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
? There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
? Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
? Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
? Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
? Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
? Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
? There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
? When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
? Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
? Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
? There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
? Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
? Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
? Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
? Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
? Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
? Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
? Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
? Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress
? Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

haha they are good.

heres some more:

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he goes killing.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

ha! thas funny! the first chuck norris movie i ever watched was An Eye for an Eye. I think bruce lee was in it as well. i was a kid so the nude scene in it etched the movie in my mind for life lol.

that was excellent, the great wall of China was built keep out Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris was the reason Rome fell
Pompeii wasn't caused by a volcano ,Chuck Norris sneezed

you found this more funny then i did . P

lol how bout
chuck norris can touch mc hammer

ha ha ha.



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