I don't know any other jokes and I want some. Best joke has 10 points! Who t!
Question: A man walks into a saloon and tells the bar tender he's been real down on his luck, hasn't got any money , but could sure use a drink.
Bar tender Say's - Tell you what , if you can make that ole mule tied up out front smile , I'll give you a round.
Man goes out front and before long , that ole mule was falling down laughing.
Bar tender gives him his drink.
Few days latter , man comes back to the saloon - tells the bar tender he ain't got a penny to his name , but could sure use a drink.
Bar tender Say's - If you can make that ole mule tied out front cry , I'll give you a round.
The man walked outside and pretty soon that ole mule was crying something terrible.
Bar tender gave him his drink.
Few days later , same man came back to the saloon and told the bar tender , I ain't got a pot to pee in but I could sure use a drink.
Bar tender Say's , if you can tell me how you made that ole mule laugh, and cry - I'll set you up for a round.
Man Say's sure. First time I went out , I whispered in the mule's ear ( My d - - - is bigger than your d - - - ) and the mule laughed.
Second time I went out , ( I showed him ).
Answers: A man walks into a saloon and tells the bar tender he's been real down on his luck, hasn't got any money , but could sure use a drink.
Bar tender Say's - Tell you what , if you can make that ole mule tied up out front smile , I'll give you a round.
Man goes out front and before long , that ole mule was falling down laughing.
Bar tender gives him his drink.
Few days latter , man comes back to the saloon - tells the bar tender he ain't got a penny to his name , but could sure use a drink.
Bar tender Say's - If you can make that ole mule tied out front cry , I'll give you a round.
The man walked outside and pretty soon that ole mule was crying something terrible.
Bar tender gave him his drink.
Few days later , same man came back to the saloon and told the bar tender , I ain't got a pot to pee in but I could sure use a drink.
Bar tender Say's , if you can tell me how you made that ole mule laugh, and cry - I'll set you up for a round.
Man Say's sure. First time I went out , I whispered in the mule's ear ( My d - - - is bigger than your d - - - ) and the mule laughed.
Second time I went out , ( I showed him ).
1. Short Joke
A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
2. Long Joke
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food."
The panda yells back, "Hey, man, I'm a panda. Look it up!"
The bartender opens his dictionary to panda: "A tree-climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
the best joke are make fun everyone else..
but that is crul(bad)..
the most funnyest way is say somethings that unpredictable....
the opposite of the normal action in ordinary moment...
:D
JOKE ISN'T SOME THINGS THAT U FORCE...
JUST FOLLOW THE FLOW_
posted by: DOLA
Some sequels which should never have been made:
Jaws 2, Grace and Favour, George W. Bush
God looks down on the Earth and the mess man has made of it and decides enough is enough. He calls up Gordon Brown, Vladamir Putin and George dubyah Bush. When they arrive he tells them 'You are the most important men in the world. I have decided to destroy it tomorrow and start afresh. Go down and tell your people.'
When Gordon gets back to Britain he tells everyone 'I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there is a god. The bad new news is He's going to destroy the world tomorrow.'
Putin arrives in Russia and says 'I've got some bad news and some even worse news. The bad news is there is a god - we've been wrong for years. The even worse news is He's going to destroy the world tomorrow.'
George rushes back to his office, grabs his megaphone, rushes outside and yells 'I got some good news and some great news. The good news is there is a god. The great news is He thinks I'm one of the most important men in the world!'
Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Bear were never good friends. One day, they are walking along and they find a magic lamp. When they rub it, a genie pops out and says that since there are two of them; they get 3 wishes a piece. Mr. Bear pushes Mr. Rabbit out of the way and says he is going first.
‘I wish that there were no male bears in the forest and all the female bears were mine.’
The rabbit thinks for a while and says ‘I want a crash helmet.’
Instantly, there are no more male bears in the forest and Mr. Rabbit has a crash helmet.
‘I wish there were no more male bears in America!’ says Mr. Bear.
Mr. Rabbit ponders a bit more and then says ‘I wish for a super fast motorcycle.’
Once again, there are no more male bears in America and Mr. Rabbit has a super fast motorcycle.
‘Okay, you have one more wish each, so choose carefully.’ the genie warns them.
Mr. Bear says ‘I wish there were no more male bears in the WORLD!!!’
So, the genie waves his wand and there are no more male bears in the world.
Mr. Rabbit puts on his crash helmet, hops on his motorcycle, revs it up and as he is just about to ride off into the distance he yells ‘I WISH MR. BEAR WAS GAY!’
I'm afraid this one isn't 100% realistic -
George Dubya Bush is visiting the Queen. He asks her
'Your Majesty, howdo you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?'
'Well,' says the Queen, 'the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.'
Dubya frowns. 'But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?'
The Queen takes a sip of tea. 'Oh that's easy. You just ask them an intelligence riddle.'
She pushes a button on her intercom. 'Please send the Prime Minister in here, would you?'
Gordon Brown walks into the room. 'Your Majesty...'
The Queen smiles. 'Answer me this please, Gordon. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?'
Without pausing for a moment, Gordon answers 'That would be me!'
'Yes, very good.' says the Queen.
Back at the White House Dubya calls in vic president, Dick.
'Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?'
'I'm not sure, let me get back to you on that one.'
Dick goes to his advisers and asks everyone, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognises Colin's shoes in the next stall. He shouts
'Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?'
Colin yells back 'That's easy, it's me!'
Dick smiles. 'Thanks!'
He goes back to the Oval Office to speak with Dubya.
Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell.'
Dubya gets up, stomps over to Dick and yells in his face,
'No, you idiot! It's Gordon Brown!'
By the way, Alexiolim, you missed the comma out of "eats, shoots and leaves".
what the big star say 2 little star: ur 2 young to stay up all night!
What's better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics??????? .........................not being retarded.....
A man walks into a bar, groans and collapses.
It was an iron bar.
how do you confuse a blonde?
put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Two blondes are walking through a forest when they come across some tracks. THe first blonde says " i think these are rabbit tracks." The second blonde says "No, i think they are deer tracks."
Seconds later, they are hit by the train.
The man had an acute case of laryngitis and could not speak above a hoarse whisper. Seeking relief, he stopped at the home of a doctor who had just transfered in the neighborhood. In response to his ring, the doctor's young, pretty wife opened the door.
"Is the doctor in?" he asked in his forced whisper.
"No, he is not," whispered the woman in reply. "Come on in.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a 100 Rs. note in one hand and two 5 Rs. Coins in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the coins and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the coins instead of the 100 Rs. note?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the 100 Rs note, the game's over!"
Hehehehehhe .... Never mess with kids !!!!!!!!
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