Who knows a good joke?!
Question: I'll like to hear the best joke u have heard of because there are a lot of bad ones out there
Answers: I'll like to hear the best joke u have heard of because there are a lot of bad ones out there
Well okay....
There was a farmer and he wanted too have his hens lay eggs, so he went down to the market and asked "Do you have a rooster i can have that will make my hens all lay eggs with-in-the hour"? " I have the Horniest Rooster here for you sir," just becareful. He took the rooster home and named him Randy. He put Randy in the Hen house and all the hens layed there eggs with in the hour. Buy he never stopped he went into the cows and humped them then the horses and then the sheep. "No Randy you'll kill your self!" At the end of the day randy was lieing there with two eyes white and his tongue sticking out. there was a buzzard circling him. " I told you randy now you gone off and killed your self!" all of a sudden Randy spoke and said "shhhh the Buzzard is comeing closer."
That is the best i have.
me
POLISH DIVORCE
A Polish man moved to the USAand married an American girl. Although
his English was far from perfect, they got along very well
until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he
could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
L: Have you any grounds?
P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
P: It made of concrete.
L: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real
grudge?
P: No, we have carport, and not need one.
L: I mean. What are your relations like?
P: All my relations still in Poland
L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
P: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
L: Does your wife beat you up?
P: No, I always up before her.
L: Is your wife a nagger?
P: No, she white.
L: Why do you want this divorce?
P: She going to kill me.
L: What makes you think that?
P: I got proof.
L: What kind of proof?
P: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: Polish Remover'.
My Boss
What does a barn and a blonde girl have in common?
they both have cocks in them...=] lol
Why did the turtle cross the road?
to get to the other side
calis_5n is a JOKE! ha! ha! ha!
*coughs, "The President" clears throat lol....
what do u call a virgin on a water bed?
cherry float
whats a blonde idea of safe sex?
locking the car door
well heres a dumb blonde joke
why do blondes live in LA?
Because its easy to spell!
its no the best but its better than your other answers!
What did one eye say to the other?
between you and me something smells!!! Ha Ha
corney isn't it
I can't tell it on here because I promised to be nice,but if you message me I will tell you.
Why are Tigger's paws always dirty?
Because he plays with Pooh!
a blonde walks into a bar the brunettes walk around it.
a rich girl with a fur coat was stopped by the animal rights protection program and they said "miss do you know how many animals they killed to get that jacket" she said "No do you know how many animals i had to **** to get this jacket." lol
thats all i remember for now but plz answer my open question right now id appreciate!
What do you get when you cross Pippy Longstocking & the Phillsbury dough Boy?
A fire crotch with a yeast infection.
question: who`sknow`s a good joke ?
answer : I do
question:do i wish to share this joke
answer: no i do not
1.) knock-knock,who's there? nobody, nobody who?-------------- nobody who (ohh i get it nobody is there duh!!!!!!!!!!
A woman wins the lottery. She jumps up and speeds home. She throws open the front door and says, "Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags, baby!" Her hubby says, "Wow, what should I pack, my winter clothes or my summer clothes?" She replied without blinking, "I dont care, just get the F*** out!"
Elton Johns wig and dress sense?...
I hope u get a laugh out of this lol......
0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
Great Writer
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Before PeeWee Herman had his T.V. show he was in the Dry Cleaning business. Had a sign out front that read "Drop your Pants and Jacket off'
1. Short Joke...
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
2. Long Joke...
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
The woman and her husband were making love and when they last expected a spaceship landed on their backyard. 2 aliens male and female came out... ALIENS; We have come from mars and would like to know what it is like to be with a being from earth, we would like to know if you want to exchange mates for one night and one night only?!? The couple from earth thought and though and finally they decided to do it.
So, the next morning the woman from earth came back and her husband asked her; How was your night? She replied that it was wonderful, that every time she pulled the alien's ear his part would grow 2 inches. The husband sighed and said, ooooooh now I understand why that *!&$# was pulling my ears all night!
Now would you please, pretty please answer my joke? It is just for a good laugh!!!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
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A desperate young mother had two incorrigible boys. Having exhausted all suggestions for controlling the little hellions, she tried one last approach: she took them to the meanest preacher in town for a lecture.
First the older boy was admitted into the stern minister's study.
Glaring at the boy from behind the desk, the preacher waited a few moments, then challenged the boy: "Young man, where is God?"
The boy was stunned to silence.
The preacher rose part way out of his chair and repeated the question: "I asked you, Where Is God?"
The boy began to quake with dread .... this was no ordinary lecture for being bad!
Stepping around from behind the desk, the impassioned preacher now shouted his question, "WHERE IS GOD!?"
At this, the boy leaped from his chair and bolted out the door, running headlong into his little brother.
"What's wrong? What's the matter?" his brother asked. ........."It's awful! The church has LOST GOD and they're BLAMING US!