Anyone got any good jokes?!
Question: A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most
perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the
second. In the third everything had just been reduced to a fiver when her
mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband
had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in
the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and
that she'd be there as soon as possible.
As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her
best day ever at the shops. She decided to get in a couple of more shops
before heading to the hospital...
She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a
cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate slice which was complimentary from
the last shop.
She was jubilant. Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she
dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about
her husband's condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You
went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud
of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself
in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit!
It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will be more
than likely the last shopping trip you ever take because for the rest of
his life he will require round the clock care! And now you'll be his
carer!'
The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed.
The lady doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just pulling your leg. He's
dead. What'd you buy?
Answers: A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most
perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the
second. In the third everything had just been reduced to a fiver when her
mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband
had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in
the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and
that she'd be there as soon as possible.
As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her
best day ever at the shops. She decided to get in a couple of more shops
before heading to the hospital...
She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a
cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate slice which was complimentary from
the last shop.
She was jubilant. Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she
dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about
her husband's condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You
went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud
of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself
in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit!
It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will be more
than likely the last shopping trip you ever take because for the rest of
his life he will require round the clock care! And now you'll be his
carer!'
The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed.
The lady doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just pulling your leg. He's
dead. What'd you buy?
no but i JUSt lost my tooth. YAY MEE
What's brown and sticky?
A Stick.
What did the lamb say to the taxi driver?
yes loads
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, France is accusing the US of arrogance and Germany doesn't want to go to war.
you have probably heard it but here it is
duck walks into a store and asks the manager
any fresh fruit
no
any fresh veg
no
we only sell canned and dry
second day duck walks in
any fresh fruit
no
any fresh veg
no
i told you we only sell canned and dry and if you come in and ask that again i will nail your feet to the floor
next day duck walks in
any nails
no
any fresh fruit
Winston is a 5 year old Nigerian boy. Despite havings AIDS and only one leg, he has to pedal his bike 15 miles every day to get to school. His bike doesnt have tyres and the one working pedal is at the wrong side for him. Please send just ￡2.50 so you can recieve the video. Its funny as ****!
heers 1 i made up bout myself lol!!!!!!!!!!!!it really happened!!!!
this blonde was talkin 2 her b/f on the fone and he asked her how tall she was and she didnt know so she went a measured herself. she was 1in. away from 5 ft. so she told her b/f that she was 4ft 9in. he was lyk on man!!! i cant believe ur THAT short!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(he was a very tall guy,the tallest of his age)so after they got off the fone those words kept running through her head..... i cant believe ur THAT short!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...........so she went and measured herself again 2 see if she was really that short......this time when she measured herself she was 4ft 11in!!!!!!!!!!!!she ran back 2 tha fone and called him back and said I GREW 2 INCHES SINCE WE GOT OFF THE PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!