A selection of jokes, funny or not?!


Question: Guilty Doctor
Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of shame was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice trying to reassure him: "Howard, don't worry about it. You're not the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you won't be the last. And, you're single. So just let it go."
But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality: "Howard, you're a veterinarian...."



Old Animals
Cleaning out the aviary at a run-down zoo, the keeper finds two finches have dropped dead from old age. In the monkey cage he discovers two of the oldest chimps have also kicked the bucket.
Waste not want not so he puts them in a sack with the finches and later tips them in the lion's cage at feeding time.
"Darn," roars the lion. "Not finch and chimps again."

How to Bathe a Cat
Thoroughly clean the toilet.
Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.
Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely, The DOG


Answers: Guilty Doctor
Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of shame was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice trying to reassure him: "Howard, don't worry about it. You're not the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you won't be the last. And, you're single. So just let it go."
But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality: "Howard, you're a veterinarian...."



Old Animals
Cleaning out the aviary at a run-down zoo, the keeper finds two finches have dropped dead from old age. In the monkey cage he discovers two of the oldest chimps have also kicked the bucket.
Waste not want not so he puts them in a sack with the finches and later tips them in the lion's cage at feeding time.
"Darn," roars the lion. "Not finch and chimps again."

How to Bathe a Cat
Thoroughly clean the toilet.
Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.
Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely, The DOG

lol,lol,lol. great jokes.* 10/10.

Ha ha ha.!!!
Good ones there so 10/10.!!!
Cheers.!!!

thats a good one

ehhh their ok not the best though......

i like all three. I'm not usually one for jokes and riddles on this site but yours did impress me. Must say something about my sense of humour...

A good selection there.

lol

only the thrd one was funny:)

hahaha excellent selection. Thanks

Not bad! lol.



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