For the ladies found this one in wifes emails thought it was good xxx funny or t!


Question: I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how
great menopause will be....

Puhleeeeeeeze!

I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your
luck) you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too."

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?"

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally-- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more eflective...You start pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.


We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the
knowledge that you have now for the body you had way back when?

Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.


That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!


Answers: I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how
great menopause will be....

Puhleeeeeeeze!

I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your
luck) you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too."

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?"

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally-- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more eflective...You start pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.


We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the
knowledge that you have now for the body you had way back when?

Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.


That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

WOW!!!

that makes sense. im not there yet.lol

Funny and sadly, true!!

You just ruined growing up for me!!!But still kinda funny!?!?

What were you looking through your wife's emails for?

i can relate to all that lol

very good

Funny, 10, True and very sad I'm afraid.

Good joke. Thanks for sharing. lol.

Did you know that female celeberties will pay big bucks not to get anywhere near these conditions that you list here ?

It cost about $25,000.00 for a boob job ($10,000.00 for each boob and $5000.00 for a flat screen TV for the ''boob'' that she married to offset the complaints about how much it costs for the boob makeover).

I thought about that after the looong LOFLMAO over this one.

(my wife was not amused, she's in the bedroom checking herself out in the door mirror AND COMPLAINING !.....LOL ! )

Very good. Thanks for sharing. lol

Brilliant and a * well done

Keep on thinking that way! lol.

gonna show this to the missus, pmsl mate
starred

Good jokes. Thanks for sharing. lol

Your wife has some weird friends to send that!!!

I take it she is happy for you to go through her mail then??

Or are you on some kinda death wish????

Either way you gave me summat to smile about!!

Lmao funny
thanks for sharing
**** for you.



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