Silly but clean jokes?!
Question: A man takes his dog to the vet. “My dog is crossed eyed,
is there anything you can do for him? “Well,” says the vet,
“let’s take a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes,
then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.”
“What? Because he is cross-eyed?”
“No, because he’s really heavy.”
A Englishman has lost his wallet containing $2000.
He shouts out if anyone finds my wallet I give them $500.
A Scotsman shouts out I give you $700.
A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose,
a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear. He says,
“What is wrong with me?
The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly.”
Patient:Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.
Nurse:Have you seen a doctor?
Patient: No, just spots.
Answers: A man takes his dog to the vet. “My dog is crossed eyed,
is there anything you can do for him? “Well,” says the vet,
“let’s take a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes,
then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.”
“What? Because he is cross-eyed?”
“No, because he’s really heavy.”
A Englishman has lost his wallet containing $2000.
He shouts out if anyone finds my wallet I give them $500.
A Scotsman shouts out I give you $700.
A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose,
a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear. He says,
“What is wrong with me?
The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly.”
Patient:Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.
Nurse:Have you seen a doctor?
Patient: No, just spots.
hahaha i had to tell them to my dad hehehehe too funny!
haha cute icon!
ha they are cute-ones i can tell my nephews!
Oooo lol..... thanks
H_I_H
lol funny, i love em
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haha LOL
Whats 40ft long and smells like pee?
The line dancers at the old folks home!
I've heard them all before but they still make me smile.
I love the first one best, made me giggle
a lil dirty but funny, a pirate walks into the bar, his wife is sitting in front of him with a steering wheel, the barterner ask capt'n whys your wife holdin a steerin wheel in fron' of ya, the captain says "because shes driving me nuts" Lol =)
lol
funny 10/10
ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10
lol....
Well done
good to see that we are not all dead from the neck up just yet
Your second joke takes the cake. Others are no where near it.
You have a clean joke here, for your consumption only.
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One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you, the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also.
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer an swered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."
Very good
lmfao at the dog joke
the rest just chucled at
starred
so spot the dog is an heavy vegetarian with no money lol
cute
here's one
a flood is going through this town
and a preacher is standing on his couch
a row boat come by and says
"come on preacher sir jump in the boat we will save you"
but the preacher tells them that he is praying to god that he will save him
the row boat leaves, and the flood rises
next the preacher is standing on his roof
and another rowboat comes by and says
"come on preacher sir jump in we will save you"
but the preacher tells them that he is praying to god that he will save him
the row boat leaves, and the flood rises
next the preacher is on his chimney
and a helicopter come down and says
"come on sir climb the ladder we will save you"
but the preacher tells them that he is praying to god that he will save him
the helicopter leaves, and flood rises
the preacher drowned and went to heaven he looked at god ask asked him
"god a prayed and prayed why did you not save me"
and god said
"preacher i sent you two boats and a helicopter what more you want"
The 2 first jokes I didn't get but the last ones I did.Good job!
They were great! Very funny! ^_^
I liked all 4 of them. lol.
lol ,i dont get the 2nd one butthe rest is funny!!
lmao lol good jokes!
Very Good
lol, very funny 10/10.
hahahahaha, i like the last one the best
LOL
great jokes, some made me honestly crack up :)
good work!
Nice one! The 3rd one got me chuckling hard!! =)
One, this isn't a question, and two, they're not funny.