10 points to the funniest joke.?!
Question: Must be appropriate.
Answers: Must be appropriate.
A young red head goes into the doctors and says to the doctor, "My whole body hurts when ever i touch it."
"Impossible!" says the doctor, "Show me."
The red head took her finger pushed on her shoulder and screamed. She then pushed on her knee and screamed again. Every where she touched she screamed the doctor said, "Young lady, you are not really a red head are you?"
"Well no." she replies. "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so." the doctor said, "Your finger is broken."
or this?
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder. She hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, why don't you eat the peanuts yourself? "We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?" The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."
A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's
a 'peel and win' sticker on her coffee cup.
So she peels it off and starts screaming,
'I've won a motorhome!
I've won a motorhome!'
The waitress says, 'That's impossible.
The biggest prize is a free Lunch.?'
But the blonde keeps on screaming,
'I've won a motorhome!
I've won a motorhome!'
Finally, the manager comes over and says,
'Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken.
You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome
because we didn't have that as a prize.
The blonde says, 'No, it's not a mistake.
I've won a motorhome!'
And she hands the ticket to the
manager and HE reads...
"W I N A B A G E L"
the little girl goes to her dad and says, dad whats sex? the father though that, she was old enough to know, after all, 5 is the new 7. so he explained to her, looking wide eyes at her dad, he dad says why did you ask, and the girl said
mom said dinner will be ready in a few secs O.O
so two peanuts were walking down the street and one was assaulted
Three women are lined up outside a detectives office, waiting to see who has the job. The first goes in and the detective hands her a side-profile of a criminal. He asks "Now, can you tell me at least one thing about this man that makes him stand out?" The woman smiles and answers "Yes, of course - he only has one ear." She is sent away.
The second woman comes in and is asked the same question about the same picture. She smiles and says "Yes, of course - he only has one eye." The detective sighs heavily and sends her away.
The third woman comes in and is asked the same question. "Look," The detective adds hastily, "He has two eyes, and two ears - it's just a side-on profile, okay?" The woman gazes at him, looking offended, then smiles and says "This man wears contact lenses." The detective is shocked, and looks up the file of the man to check. it is true. "How did you know?!" He asks the woman. "Oh, well, it was easy! He can't wear glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!"
what did the little fish say when he bumped his head ona cement wall
DAM!!
2 muffins were baking in an oven. One said, Whew! it'e getting pretty hot in here! The other one said, AHHHHHHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!
Best joke EVER!
if a quiz is quizical then what is a test?
A little bobby joke:
Little bobby had just turn the age of "terrible two" and his mom was teaching his the basics of things to do and things not to do (i.e.- picking up things, potty training, etc..) Well on his 4th night of being potty trained little bobby decided to go to the restroom all alone and on his way back he peeked through the keyhole of his parents bedroom and says, "and this b**ch gets mad at me for putting my thumb in my mouth."