What are some jokes you think are really funny?!
Question: I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.
I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up to there . . . you know what I mean.
So I'm sitting in my room, killing time, with nothing to do, so I figure, what the hell, I'll give her a call.
"Hello?" the woman says. God she sounded sexy.
"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait; let me be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night. Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"
She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to dial 9 first, Sir."
or this?
A woman, without her man; is nothing
A woman; without her, man is nothing
Answers: I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.
I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up to there . . . you know what I mean.
So I'm sitting in my room, killing time, with nothing to do, so I figure, what the hell, I'll give her a call.
"Hello?" the woman says. God she sounded sexy.
"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait; let me be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night. Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"
She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to dial 9 first, Sir."
or this?
A woman, without her man; is nothing
A woman; without her, man is nothing
That George W. Bush is a smart man.
hydrogen atom 1 - i think i lost an electron
hydrogen atom 2 - really? are you sure?
hydrogen atom 1 - yeah! im positive
Rene Descartes was at a tea party. The hostess asked if he'd like a refill. He said, "I think not." So he disappeared.
Most jokes that I find to be funny may not be to someone else.
Throughout my life I've often been told that I had a "warped" sense of humor. :O
This is the funniest joke in the world (Monty Python)
What did the bird say when his cage broke?
Cheep Cheep.
HA gets me everytime.
How did Helen Keller make herself go crazy?
Trying to read a stucco wall.
Your mom is so stupid...... She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
Read this one.
This person has been cracking me up for the last hour!
Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speedbumps.