Anyone no any good jokes?!


Question: A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town in the South. She orders some chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Buford and Buck, two country boys in the next booth, notice she is choking. So they get up and go over to help her. Buford drops his coveralls and bends over and then Buck starts licking his butt. The choking woman watches these two go at it and is so grossed out that she launches foward and throws up all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat. Buford pulls his overalls back up and says to Buck, "You're right,that 'hind-lick' maneuver works like a charm."


Answers: A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town in the South. She orders some chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Buford and Buck, two country boys in the next booth, notice she is choking. So they get up and go over to help her. Buford drops his coveralls and bends over and then Buck starts licking his butt. The choking woman watches these two go at it and is so grossed out that she launches foward and throws up all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat. Buford pulls his overalls back up and says to Buck, "You're right,that 'hind-lick' maneuver works like a charm."

Soap and Water

We were asked to dinner by a new friend. When we sat down at the table, we noticed that the dishes were dirty.
"Were these dishes washed?", I asked the hostess as I rubbed my fingers over the surface.

She replied, "They're as clean as soap and water could get them".

I felt a bit apprehensive, but started eating anyway. Dinner was delicious, despite the dirty dishes.

When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yelled, "Here Soap! Here Water!"

If what u r looking 4 is a laugh check these links out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfGRBIZA6...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8urm2-MB...

An affluent couple gets into an argument over dinner.
"If you could cook," said the husband, "we could fire the chef."

"If you could screw," replied the wife, "we could fire the driver."

two nuns are talking and the first one says why just yesterday I found playboys on the preists desk so I had to burn them. The 2nd nun I know I found condoms in his desk droor today. Well what did you ? the 1st nun asked. I pocked a hole in them she replied.
the first nun fainted

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl" The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" – the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" – says the man. "Oh, what are you then? " The man says: - "I am a Saudi !" The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

or this?

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices our Little Johnny trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, Little Johnny is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching Little Johnny’s efforts for some time, the priest steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”

To which Little Johnny replies, “Now we run!”



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