Whats the funniest joke you have ever ?!
Question: please say what joke it is
thanks
bye
Answers: please say what joke it is
thanks
bye
This joke is funnier if said out loud:
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice and line the hole with peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.
okay.... its a blonde joke.... sorry
why did the blonde have bruises on her belly button?
Because her boyfriend was blonde too....
:)
Check out Panos's jokes on this site they are brilliant i...ts sometimes hard to choose. He's just great
I have one:
Whats the hardest part about rollerskating?
...Telling your dad you're gay!
There were two little boys getting ready to have surgery. They were in side-by-side beds and the first boy asked the second boy what was he there for. The second little boy answered, "I'm here to get my tonsils out." The first boy reassuredly said, "Oh that's a piece of cake! I had my tonsils out last year and afterward, I got to eat all the ice cream I wanted!!!" Then the second boy asked the first boy what he was there for. The first boy said, "I'm here to get circumcised." The second boy shuddered and exclaimed, "Oh I am so sorry for you! I was circumcised when I was 3 days old and I couldn't walk for a year!"
this ones my fave
Is this funny?
A small boy walks into his mother's room and catches her topless.
"Mommy, Mommy, what are those?" he says pointing to her breasts.
"Well, son," she says, These are balloons, and when you die, they
inflate and float you up to heaven."
Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite
satisfied. Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes
into the kitchen. "Mommy, mommy, Aunt Eliza is dying!"
"What do you mean?" says his mother.
"Well she's out in the garden shed, lying on the floor. Both of her
balloons are out, Dad's blowing them up, and she keeps yelling,
"God, I'm coming! God, I'm coming!"
"Who died the worst death" is the funniest joke I've ever heard.
Three guys go up to heaven and St. Peter says "there are too many people uup in heaven already so we need to cut down the number of people going into heaven"
"Whoever died the worst death will be let into heaven" The first guy says "okay so I thought my wife was cheating on me so I came home early and my wife was in the shower so I looked around and couldn't find him so I went out to my fifth floor balcony and there the jackass was hanging over the edge." "So I started jumping up and down on his hands until he falls, but the lucky bastard landed in a bush. So I got the fridge and dropped it on him, Afterwards I felt so bad that I shot myself"
The second guy goes "well I lived on the seventh floor of an apartment and I fell off my Balcony two floors and grabbed their balcony. After a few minutes a guy comes and starts jumping up and down on my hands. Lucky for me I landed in a bush. But then the jackass goes and gets the fridge and drops it on me"
the tird guy says "Okay picture this: your hiding naked in a refridgerator...
This is not meant to be racist in any way, i have black friends i am not racist!
Three soldiers are walking back from a battlefield, 2 white men and a black man. In battle, all men lost body parts, the first white man lost his arms, the second white man lost his legs and the black man lost his whole body. So on the way back from fighting, they come across a miracle worker, so they all ask for there body parts back. So the first white man steps up and says "excuse me, i lost me arms in battle, could i have them back?" so the miracle worker walks off, about 5 minutes later he returns with the mans arms, he re-ataches them and the first man walks off. The second man walks up, asks for his legs back, the miracle worker walks off, about 5 mins later he comes back with his legs. So the black man walks up and says "excuse me, i lost me whole body in battle, im just a head, i've had to roll around everywhere, please help" So the miracle worker walks off, but theres no sign of him for about 25 mins. Then he returns and says
"Well i couldn't find your body, But i found a bit of string, so you can be a conker"
An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol.
"Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?" the officer said.
The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
"He said you were speeding!" the old man yelled.
The patrolman then asked, "May I see your license?"
The woman turned to her husband again, "What did he say?"
The old man yelled back, "He wants to see your license!"
The woman then gave the officer her license.
"I see you are from Arkansas," the patrolman said. "I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."
The woman turned to her husband again and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man replied, "He said he knows you!"
and this...
A woman, without her man; is nothing
A woman; without her, man is nothing