Depresed got any thing to cheer me up?!
Question: any jokes or riddles to read well i do this report that is taking all night
Answers: any jokes or riddles to read well i do this report that is taking all night
by becca jc Member since:
October 31, 2007
Total points:
236 (Level 1)
Add to My Contacts
Block User
A blond walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant
For some rectum deodorant.
The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the
Woman that, they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.
Unfazed, the blond assures the pharmacist that she
Has been buying the stuff from this store on a
Regular basis and would like some more.
'I'm sorry,' says the pharmacist, 'We don't have
Any.'
'But, I always buy it here,' says the blond.
'Do you have the container that it came in?' asks
The pharmacist.
'Yes,' said the blond, 'I'll go home and get it.'
She returns with the container and hands it to the
Pharmacist who looks at it and says to her,
'This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.'
Annoyed, the blond snatches the container
Back and reads out loud from the container ........
'TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM'.
you can look at my picture, if that doesn't make you laugh, then you are really dead.
-Why are math books so hard to get along with?
They have so many problems!
-A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye
-Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different!
The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again.
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."
-Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plummer the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
-Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly ... and for the same reason
Hope That Cheered You Up:D
What did one burp say to the other?
Lets be stinkers and go out the other end.
That joke used to crack me up so much!