10 Points for the taking. Make Me Laugh?!
Question: Yeah, I'm bored.
I've read through my friend's joke book, looking for a laugh.
Nothing. It's pretty hard to make me laugh, or giggle.
So, if you can, please try to make me laugh.
Best Answer who can make me laugh.
Thanks.
Answers: Yeah, I'm bored.
I've read through my friend's joke book, looking for a laugh.
Nothing. It's pretty hard to make me laugh, or giggle.
So, if you can, please try to make me laugh.
Best Answer who can make me laugh.
Thanks.
One night a father sent his kid to bed. Five minutes later the boy screamed, ''Dad! Can you get me a glass of water!?!''
''No. You had your chance.''
A minute later the boy screamed ''Dad!! Can you get me a glass of water?''
''No. You had your chance. Next time you ask I'll come up there and spank you.''
''Dad! When you come up to spank me can you bring me a glass or water?'
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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah (in bible) was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
___
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you a**hole!
___
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."
search for miss teen south carolina on youtube
A: Knock knock
B: Who's there?
A: It's Luke.
B: Luke who?
A: Look through the keyhole and you'll know.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sdV4__PxsTI
not a joke but its pretty funny
This man walks in a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey Joe, how about fixing me up with 8 shots of whiskey and 8 bottles of beer?"
The Man says, "Well, my son has just come home from college and I found out he's gay."
Joe says, "Man that's terrible," and gives the man his whiskey and beer.
Two weeks go by and the same man goes to the bar... He walks in and says, "Hey Joe, how about fixing me up with 8 shots of whiskey and 8 bottles of beer?"
Joe says, "Well hell, what's the matter this time?"
The man says, "Well my other boy just come home from college and I found out that HE'S gay."
Joe says, "Man, that's a damn shame," and fixes him up with the beer and whiskey.
Three weeks go by and the man comes bursting through the doors and says, "Joe, I want you to fix me up with every f*cking drink you got in the house!"
Joe says, "Geez, doesn't anyone in your family love women?"
The man says, "Yeah, I just found out my wife does..."
Read More on : http://www.coolstuffs.in
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdaAWFoWr...
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later). Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God up there?
TOMMY: No
TEACHER: That's my point We can't see God because he isn't there. Possibly he just doesn't exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions.
The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy:
LITTLE GIRL: TOMMY, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school, she possibly may not even have one!
Sorry if you are not christian i still liked it and i am christian though...
a rabbit and a bear were in the forest and they found a bottle. a genoi came and granted them each 3 wishes. the bear said that he wished all the bears in the forest were female.the bunny wanted a crash helmet.the bear wanted all the bears in the neighboring forest to be female.the bunny wanted a crash helmet.the bear wanted all the bears in the world to be female.the bunny said "i want the BEAR TO BE GAY!"and just rode off
a bear was shitting in the woods.
along came mr. bunny.
hey mr. bunny, does sh*t stick to your fur?
no.
so the bear wiped his a** with the bunny!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=2WbOUwbwr2w
bob= why can this happening?
harry= what?
bob= our store been rob again..for the third time in this month!!
harry= see???i told not to put the signboard "PLEASE COME AGAIN" outside the store!!!! if we didnt put the sign in the first place we wont be rob for the third time !!
its not funny i guest...but ohh well just for u to read..
---------------------The following joke is about Homosexuals and is extremely cruel.----------------------------------...
------------------I do not intend to offend anyone-----------------------
two gay guys were walking down the street.
one turned to the other and said "I'm pregnant."
The second man said "Really, who's the father."
The pregnant man responded"What, do i look like i've got eyes on the back of my head?"
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The following jokes are REALLY REALLY REALLY INAPPROPRIATE AND MEAN!!!!--------------------------------...
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
You'd run away too if your name was "gAhhHHhuhhhhn!"
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Did you know Hellen Keller had a playground in her back yard?
niether did she.
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Wanna hear the funniest joke ever?
Women's Rights
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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and coacaine?
One's white, powdery, and will get ya locked up if you let your kids around it...
the other is coacaine.
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These Jokes...ehh. not so innappropriate...-----------------------...
WORLD'S SHORTEST BOOKS:
20. BEAUTY SECRETS by Janet Reno
19. HOME BUILT AIRPLANES by John Denver
18. HOW TO GET TO THE SUPER BOWL by Dan Marino
17. THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL by Hillary Clinton
16. MY LIFE'S MEMORIES by Ronald Reagan
15. THINGS I CAN'T AFFORD by Bill Gates
14. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman
13. THE WILD YEARS - by Al Gore
12. AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN
11. AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
10. DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE
9. DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
8. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
7. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN
6. ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres
5. MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
4. SPOTTED OWL RECIPES - by the Sierra Club
3. THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
2. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O. J. Simpson
1. MY BOOK OF MORALS - by Bill Clinton
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PEACELOVEtm
If you're peacefull or if you are a teenager that doesn't like being labeled
plz go to
groups.myspace.com/randommcorps
A 60-year-old couple are celebrating their 40th wedding annivesary.During the celebrations a fairy appears and
says that,since they have been such a loving couple,she'll give them each 1 wish.The wife wishes to travel the world.The fairy waves her wand and poof!She has a handful of tickets.Next,it's the husband's turn.He pauses for a moment,then says,"I'd like to have a woman 30years younger than me."So the fairy picks up her wand and poof!He's 90