Does anyone know a joke??ill give 10 pnts!?!
Question: There was a father and his son.. they were talking about you know manly stuff then his son asked is God a man or a woman and his father answered "both". his son went back to his room and thought for a while, he went back to his dad and asked if God was black or white then his father answered "both". his son went back to his room and thought again. he went back to his dad and asked if God loves children, his dad answered "yes". his son went back to his room and thought again for a while. he went back to his dad and asked " Is God Michael Jackson?"
Answers: There was a father and his son.. they were talking about you know manly stuff then his son asked is God a man or a woman and his father answered "both". his son went back to his room and thought for a while, he went back to his dad and asked if God was black or white then his father answered "both". his son went back to his room and thought again. he went back to his dad and asked if God loves children, his dad answered "yes". his son went back to his room and thought again for a while. he went back to his dad and asked " Is God Michael Jackson?"
Theres a blonde on the side of the intersate acting as if she was paddleing a boat. Another passerby who was a blonde pulled over to the side of the road and asked the other blonde what are you doing? The blonde replied i'm rowing my boat up the river. The driver said you know its blondes like you that gives blondes like me a bad name.... If I could swim. I'd kick your @$$...
What''s the difference between a gynecologist and a geneologist?
A: One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush
NEXT
A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice - her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces.
They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head.
The wife asked the man, "Do you live here?"
"No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little bottle. I am so grateful!" he answered.
The husband asked, "Are you a genie?"
"Oh, why, yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, and the third I will keep for myself," the man replied.
The husband and wife agreed on two wishes - one was for a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever.
The genie nodded his head and said, "Done!"
The genie now said, "For my wish, I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years, and after all, I made you a scratch golfer and a millionaire."
The husband and wife agreed.
After the genie and wife were finished, the genie asked the wife, "How long have you been married?"
To which she responded, "Three years."
The genie then asked, "How old is your husband?"
To which she replied, "31 years old."
The genie then asked, "And how long has he believed in this genie crap?"
NEXT
An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. A smartass jock in the back of the room asked, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "You can write with your other hand."
NEXT
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a hotel.
His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.
"No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
lol,
this post is just so i can get to level two so i can give a thumb up to the above answer!
Last week in Hollywood...
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?Angelina Jolie is very skinny now.?
?Yep. Her new role... ?
?What !? ... new role??
?Spielberg is planning a sequel ...?
?With her ??
?Yep. A sequel
... of 'Schindler's List'...?
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Aaron Moses.
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969."
The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
there are two muffins cooking in the oven and one turns to the other and says " hey is it hot in here?" and the second muffin replies, "holyshit!!!! a talking muffin!!!!!!"
A 60-year-old couple are celebrating their 40th wedding annivesary.During the celebrations a fairy appears and
says that,since they have been such a loving couple,she'll give them each 1 wish.The wife wishes to travel the world.The fairy waves her wand and poof!She has a handful of tickets.Next,it's the husband's turn.He pauses for a moment,then says,"I'd like to have a woman 30years younger than me."So the fairy picks up her wand and poof!He's 90
Dads death
There is a blond at her office and she receives a phone call saying her father had died earlier that morning. She was very upset and her boss ran into the room saying, "That's terrible! You don't have to stay here, it's not right. Go home, comfort your family." The blond says between sniffles, "No but thank you for the offer. I'll stay here and try to keep my mind of it." After lunch the blond's boss comes in to check on her. He is most shocked when he sees her more upset that she was earlier that same day. "What's the matter?!" asked the boss in a shock. "Well I just called my sister, and her dad's died too!"