Interpreting job advertisements?!
Question: Competitive salary: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
Join our fast-paced company: We have no time to train you.
Casual work atmosphere: We don't pay you enough to expect that you'll dress nicely.
Must be deadline oriented: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
Must be flexible: On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles.
Some overtime required: Some time each night and some time each weekend.
Duties will vary: Anyone in the office can boss you around.
Must have an eye for detail: We have no quality control.
Career-minded: Female employees must be childless (and remain that way).
Apply in person: If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
No phone calls please: We've filled the job; our call for CV's is just a legal formality.
Seeking candiates with a wide variety of experience: You'll need it to replace the three people who just left.
Problem-solving a must: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
Requires team leadership skills: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
Answers: Competitive salary: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
Join our fast-paced company: We have no time to train you.
Casual work atmosphere: We don't pay you enough to expect that you'll dress nicely.
Must be deadline oriented: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
Must be flexible: On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles.
Some overtime required: Some time each night and some time each weekend.
Duties will vary: Anyone in the office can boss you around.
Must have an eye for detail: We have no quality control.
Career-minded: Female employees must be childless (and remain that way).
Apply in person: If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
No phone calls please: We've filled the job; our call for CV's is just a legal formality.
Seeking candiates with a wide variety of experience: You'll need it to replace the three people who just left.
Problem-solving a must: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
Requires team leadership skills: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
Sounds like a job I applied for last month. Hours were (loosley) 9am to 5.30pm but I was expected to get there earlier to open up for the shiftworkers - who began at 6.30am. And again to lock up after the late shiftworkers at 10.00pm - unless they wanted to unwind in the canteen with a round of bacon sarnies and a mug of builders (builders tea), before they left for home.
Pity I didn't get beyond the first interview (lol).
how very true! ill pop one on my staff cupboard.. i mean room.
Sounds perfect! What next? Where, when, how much and for how long? I speak/write fluently in 9 languages.
You have it right,
You should be owning the Co, not working for it
That describes far too many Companies.
ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10